In Your Head
by Captain Peregrine
Summary: During Duet, what would happen if it had been a little...different?
1. Chapter 1

In Your Head

Chapter 1

The day was warm, but with a cool breeze keeping everything comfortable. The sky was nearly cloudless and a brilliant blue. Green fields spotted with yellow flowers resembling an Earth variety of daisies or brown-eyed-Susan's spread across those places not filled with scruffy patches of over-grown woods. The gentle humming of insects and the trill of birds filled the air, giving the entire place a peaceful atmosphere.

Elizabeth Weir walked through the field of wild flowers, smiling slightly to herself. She had decided to come along on the most recent mission with Colonel Sheppard's team in order to gain a little more off-world experience. The world was supposedly uninhabited so would be of little interest to the Wraith—hence why they figured it would be unlikely for them to bump into any of the life-sucking pains in the asses and why Sheppard had actually consented to let her go without much of an argument. But he had teamed her up with Dr. Rodney McKay, figuring that if the Wraith _did_ make an appearance they would do so at the 'Gate and so run into him and his men first before reaching Weir and the others.

The day was quiet but for the playful bickering Lieutenant Laura Cadman had initiated with Rodney. Elizabeth had only been half-listening until she heard the woman mention Rodney's date with Katie Brown—one of Atlantis's resident botanists. Just as surprised as Carson, she looked up sharply from her silent daydreaming just in time to see Rodney glance back at her with a guilty expression before flashing a dangerous glare at Cadman who gleefully ignored him.

"What—you have a date, Rodney?" Carson asked in surprise. "With a woman?"

Rodney glanced back at Elizabeth again, this time with an unreadable expression on his face, before he looked at Carson. He sighed heavily and his voice came out laced with heavy sarcasm.

"Yes I have a—yes with a _woman_." He interrupted himself sharply, outraged that Carson should even imply such a thing. Carson looked at Rodney innocently—he looked at everybody innocently—but Cadman laughed merrily as she scooped down to pick a fistful of wild flowers.

"Ah, it's okay, Rodney." She grinned over her shoulder. "I think it's cute."

"Well of course you would." Rodney snapped back irritably, obviously uncomfortable with the open discussion of his private life. "You're a woman—and how did you hear about this anyway?"

"Lady's poker night." Cadman grinned playfully. "You should hear the things we tell each other."

"Well… Elizabeth, did you know about this?" Rodney asked, looking over his shoulder at the woman. Elizabeth shook her head.

"Not a word of it, Rodney." She assured him. "I've never had the time for poker—besides it would be unfair to the other women."

Cadman grinned back at Elizabeth.

"Don't worry, Dr. Weir, I'll get you to beat us at a game of poker sooner or later!"

Elizabeth managed an answering grin.

"I look forward to it, Lieutenant."

Rodney threw another cryptic look over his shoulder at Elizabeth before he returned to glaring at Laura Cadman.

"Well, poker night or no, it seems a massive misuse of personal information to be raving about other people's personal and private lives without their permission—"

Cadman stopped dead in her tracks and held up a hand. Rodney's glare hardened.

"No, I will not be quiet. You women have no right to be—"

"Dr. McKay, shut up." Cadman snapped. Something in the woman's tone seemed to set off warning bells because Rodney's mouth immediately snapped shut. Moments later Elizabeth heard the horrible sound—a high-pitched, buzzing whine. Though she had never heard the sound personally, she had had it described to her enough times to know what it was. But there had been no word from Sheppard's team at the 'Gate. The dart must have already been on the planet when they arrived.

Cadman tapped her radio.

"Colonel Sheppard, we've got Wraith." She said calmly, the only indication that she was worried was a slight sharpness to her tone.

"Take cover." Sheppard's voice snapped instantly over the radio. "We can't let them see us or they'll know Atlantis is still in one piece."

Cadman nodded and looked at the doctors in her charge.

"You heard the man." She said, instantly in military mode. "We'll head for those trees."

She pointed ahead to a thin line of woods on the horizon. No one objected—they merely nodded and started running towards the safety of the forest line.

Carson and Cadman quickly out paced Elizabeth and Rodney. Strangely enough, Elizabeth had a feeling that Rodney could have easily kept up with the others, but was deliberately slowing his steps to keep stride with her. Though she thought he was an idiot for doing it, she appreciated the gesture anyway. As he ran beside her, McKay flashed her a lopsided grin.

"How's this for your second off-world expedition?" he asked breathlessly. Weir couldn't help but grin back.

"Not what I expected." She admitted. They were still smiling when they heard Cadman's shout.

"Get down!" she shouted, turning to face the sky behind them and over their heads. They heard the loud buzzing of the drone and the two of them looked up just in time to see the brilliant beam of blue-white light. A moment later the place where Rodney and Elizabeth had been running was empty.

Carson, seeing his friends disappear into the Wraith dart, froze in shock and only avoided being taken himself by Cadman roughly shoving him into the dirt out of the path of the dart before throwing herself out of the way.

Cadman got to her knees and tapped her radio again.

"Colonel, it's headed your way." She said into the radio.

"Colonel Sheppard," Carson shouted into his own radio, "they beamed up Rodney and Elizabeth."

There was a moment of silence on Sheppard's end, and then his strained voice spoke once again.

"Shoot it down." He ordered his men. "If that dart gets away, Atlantis's cover is blown."

"But, Colonel—" Carson tried to argue.

"Just do it!" Sheppard shouted to whoever had a gun to fire. From the sound in his voice he was none too pleased to be doing what he was doing, but he was right. Better to loose two people—no matter how valuable—then to lead the Wraith back to the city and hand them Atlantis and Earth on a silver platter.

Carson watched in horror as gunfire soared over the trees, striking the dart and knocking it out of the sky. And then Carson watched it tumble out of the air straight towards him and Cadman.

"Oh, crap." He swore as he ran to get out of the way. Once again it was Cadman that saved him, throwing them both to the side just as the dart slammed into the Earth and slid several feet across the grass and dirt before coming to a smoking halt.

As the dust cleared and they could see the ship again, both Cadman and Carson saw the Wraith pilot barely alive in the cockpit. Carson, as much of a bleeding heart as ever, tried to convince it that he was there to help him, but before the Wraith could accept or deny any such help Cadman aimed her P-90 and let an explosion of gunfire eat the Wraith's chest, killing him instantly.

Carson leapt back in alarm and looked at Cadman with a horrified expression.

"He could have told us how to release Dr. Weir and Rodney!" Carson exploded, sounding as close to angry as he ever got. Cadman glared at him.

"He was reaching for the self-destruct." She snapped. "That wouldn't have helped Doctors Weir or McKay any more than trying to convince him to tell us how to get them out. In fact, it would have been less help. Now come on."

"Come on where?" Carson demanded, turning to watch Cadman march towards the distant 'Gate. She threw a glare over her shoulder.

"We've got to get back to the 'Gate. The sooner we get someone out here the sooner we can figure out how to get _them_ out of the dart."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Dr. Radek Zelenka walked across the verdant green- and yellow fields with a wary expression on his face. He kept looking up at the sky as if half expecting a whole fleet of darts to descend out of nowhere and abduct them all. He had brought with him a handful of other scientists to help him solve their little dilemma and to help him carry the equipment, but none of them seemed so very jumpy as he was.

"Dr. Zelenka!" Sheppard greeted, trotting up to meet he Czech. The man nearly dropped the case he was carrying when he heard Sheppard's voice. The Colonel slowed down and grinned at the scientist.

"First time off world?" he asked casually. Zelenka glared at the man—Sheppard knew full well that it was, but Zelenka knew he would be getting no sympathy on this trip. Not with two very important lives at stake. Sheppard grinned again. "The dart's this way."

Zelenka and his little mini-troop of scientists followed the Colonel and the handful of other soldiers accompanying him to the mangled wreck of the crashed dart. On first glance the thing looked like a lost cause, crumpled at the bottom of a self-composed ditch still smoldering in places from the force of the impact. The shot-up dead body in the cockpit didn't make things any less intimidating.

Zelenka sighed and looked at the people he had brought with him.

"Start setting up the equipment." He instructed with his heavy Czech accent.

Hours passed, the sun becoming increasingly hotter with each tick of the clock. It didn't help that all the scientists were crammed into the dart-formed ditch next to the ship, all tapping away at this computer or peering at that piece of equipment or that every military personnel on guard was continually looking over their shoulders.

The sixth time that Sheppard did it, Zelenka snapped.

"Will you stop doing that?" she shouted. Sheppard raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, doc, didn't mean to be bothering—"

"Yes, well, you still are." Zelenka pointed out rudely. Sheppard's lips twitched in a slight smile, but he backed off and nodded to his men to do the same. It wasn't long before Carson, too worried for his trapped friends to pay any attention to the Czech's temper, came to the edge of the crater.

"Are you getting anywhere?" he called down. Zelenka swore to himself in Czech and refused to look up from the pad in his hands.

"I would be if people would stop looking over my shoulder." He snapped.

"Look, Doctor," Sheppard spoke up, coming back to the edge of the ditch, "we don't know how long people can stay in that thing. We need to get them out as soon as possible."

"Don't you think I know that?" Zelenka demanded. He sighed and turned his pad so that the two men could see it. He indicated two glowing dots on the screen. "Doctors Weir and McKay are located somewhere in the memory buffer of the ship, but the ship only has power to rematerialize one of them."

Sheppard looked down at Zelenka.

"Well, that's easy," he said and Carson looked at him in surprise. The Colonel shrugged. "McKay. That way he can figure out a way to get Elizabeth out of there."

Zelenka, a little miffed at once again being called second best, shook his head.

"It is not so simple. It is impossible to differentiate between both life signs." Zelenka pointed to the screen again. "I cannot tell who is Dr. McKay and who is Dr. Weir."

Carson glanced over at Sheppard and the Colonel's lips twisted into a grimace. He looked long and hard at the screen and then at Zelenka.

"What happens when we take one of them out of there?" he asked. Zelenka shrugged.

"We will have to find a way to power the memory buffer back up again." He said. "But the second life sign will be… should… remain intact once we remove one of them."

"Should?" Carson looked at Zelenka. "You don't sound so sure."

"Well I cannot be." Zelenka admitted. He shrugged and added quickly, "But it is unlikely that any damage would be done to the second life sign."

Carson looked at Sheppard and the man glared back at him, then gestured at Zelenka.

"Well we have to try to get _one_ of them out of there—whoever it is." He said shortly. Zelenka sighed and got to his feet, gesturing to the screen.

"Then please, be my guest." He said shortly. Sheppard glanced at Carson again before descending into the pit. He hovered over the screen for what felt like forever before he breathed a heavy sigh.

"That one." He said and punched the life sign on the left.

A second later there was a flash of brilliant light, but it was not Rodney McKay who materialized before them. Instead Elizabeth Weir stood looking befuddled for a few seconds before her green eyes rolled up into her head and she fainted dead away—Sheppard managing to catch her before she hit the ground. He grimaced and looked up at Carson.

"Carson, get your medical team down here. We've got to get her to the infirmary."

Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes and she found herself looking up at the sterile white ceiling of the infirmary. For a brief moment, while her mind readjusted to being awake and aware, she found herself wondering why all hospitals across the universe were white. It wasn't a very comforting color. Blue was a comforting color. She wondered if she should have the infirmary repainted—but no. The Ancients knew what they were doing so it was best not to mess with it.

"Oh, bloody hell, you're awake."

Elizabeth turned her head to see a very relieved-looking Carson Beckett standing next to her bed. Sheppard was standing there with him, with Teyla and Ronan hovering just behind his shoulder.

"We were starting to get worried." Sheppard smiled at her.

"It is very good to see that you are awake, Dr. Weir." Teyla said in her fluid, calming voice. Ronan, as usual, said nothing but he seemed just as happy as everyone else did.

"What… happened?" Elizabeth asked slowly as she struggled to sit up.

"You and Rodney got beamed up by that Wraith dart. We shot it down and most of it's in the science lab now, but—"

"Wait, where is Rodney?" she asked, suddenly realizing that the man in question was nowhere to be seen. He, of all people, she would have expected to see hovering anxiously at her bedside.

Sheppard glanced at Carson and the two of them seemed to be struggling with what to tell her. She was starting to get worried when she heard the familiar tones of her favorite scientist.

"Don't worry, I'm right here." She heard the man say—though it sounded unnaturally close and echoing. "Though why I'm here lying in a _hospital_ bed and not helping examine the Wraith dart, I have no idea."

Carson sighed, as if he hadn't heard the man, and he turned his big blue eyes to Elizabeth.

"Dr. Weir, we could only get one of you out of the dart. Rodney is still trapped inside the ship's memory buffer."

"No I'm not." The man snapped irritably. Elizabeth, wondering if perhaps the doctor had somehow forgotten he had a patient, turned to see if she could see Rodney through the dividing curtain separating their two hospital beds. But, to her surprise, there was no dividing curtain and no one lying in the next bed. Turning her head to look the other way, she saw no one lying in the bed behind Carson and the others.

Sheppard frowned.

"Are you… looking for someone?" he asked slowly.

"Rodney, where is he?" she asked again.

"Right _here_." The man said in exasperation.

"I am sorry, Rodney," Elizabeth said calmly, "but I don't know where _here_ is."

She reached for her headset as she spoke, but she felt no earpiece. She frowned and was about to ask why Rodney was speaking over the citywide communications when the Scot spoke again.

"I just told you, Dr. Weir. He's still trapped in the dart." Carson said slowly, eyeing his patient worriedly.

"No, you idiot, I'm right _here_." Rodney snapped. "I'm staring right at you!"

Elizabeth paused and looked up at Carson.

"Rodney… who are you looking at?" she asked slowly. She watched the four people hovering at her bedside glance at each other and she felt a growing dread in her stomach.

"What do you mean, who am I looking at? I'm staring right at Carson!" There was a pause. "Why… who are you looking at?"

"Rodney…" she said slowly.

"Elizabeth, can you do me a favor? Cover your eyes for a second." The Canadian said quickly.

"Dr. Weir, I don't know how many times I can tell you but Rodney is not he… what are you doing?" Carson asked slowly as Elizabeth peeked through her fingers at the startled Scot. Sheppard, Teyla and Ronan regarded her with equal confusion.

"Oh no." Rodney groaned. "I can see that—I mean I can see through your fingers."

"You can _what_?" Elizabeth asked in alarm, dropping her hands from her face.

"Elizabeth…?" Sheppard asked slowly.

"Elizabeth—I could see what you were seeing!" Rodney shouted in alarm. Elizabeth looked up at Carson, her green eyes wide.

"Love, are you sure you are alright?" Carson asked carefully. Elizabeth groaned and slid down under the sheets, covering her eyes with her hands again.

"Oh, this is not good." Rodney sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"You're trying to tell us that… _Rodney_… is in your head?" Sheppard asked slowly. As Elizabeth, nodded Carson sighed and sat down heavily on the edge of the nearest hospital bed. Teyla looked surprised, Ronan—as usual—showed no outward signs of emotion, and Sheppard had the gall to look amused by the whole thing.

"I assure you, _Colonel_, that this is not that amusing." Rodney snapped irritably in Elizabeth's head. Elizabeth ignored him—she was used to having him always buzzing around her, spouting off a steady drone of dialogue at all hours of the day. She usually found it quite comforting, but right now, she was just happy she had gotten used to toning it out when she needed to.

"You tone me out?" Rodney asked quietly. Elizabeth, who had just been about to respond to Sheppard's rather inane question—of course Rodney was in her head!—jumped in surprise when she suddenly realized what Rodney McKay was saying to her.

"Wait…" Elizabeth's eyes widened, "Rodney, can you hear what I'm _thinking_?"

There was a long pause.

"Yes." The man mumbled quickly, as if embarrassed to be admitting it.

Though no one had heard Rodney's admission to the fact, the look on Elizabeth's face was enough confirmation and now every face in the infirmary took on a look of slowly dawning shock. Even Sheppard's amusement faded away when he realized what it meant.

"Can you… um, _stop_ thinking?" he offered lamely and blushed when everyone looked at him as if he was a certified born idiot. He threw up his hands, trying to cover his blunder. "_What_?"

Elizabeth was becoming less and less amused with the whole situation.

"Colonel, don't be an idiot." Rodney snapped shortly in her head. "Of course she can't stop _thinking_. That's like trying to stop the tide."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Rodney, I do believe I was just complimented." She replied lightly. She could almost hear Rodney fidgeting nervously in her head. She decided to give him a break. "And here I always thought it was you that was the smart one."

"Well, yes, but… well, you're pretty… pretty… smart! Smart! You're smart. Not that you're not pretty but… uh… intelligent. Think a lot… smart. You're, uh, you're very smart." Rodney mumbled. She didn't hear another word from him and Elizabeth felt a momentary pang—he was only that quiet when something was wrong and she knew that now he was immensely uncomfortable. She wished there was some way she could relieve him, but he was right—she couldn't stop thinking any easier than she could stop the tide from rising and falling.

"What is he sayin'?" Carson asked and Elizabeth suddenly realized that they had all just been hearing an entirely one-sided conversation. Or, rather, they had been seeing her one-sided reactions to his own conversation.

"Nothing." Elizabeth said quickly before she could stop herself. Of course Rodney McKay wasn't saying "nothing". He was always saying _something_. But she refused to revise her statement and instead aimed a steady gaze square between John Sheppard and Carson Beckett. "I think a better question is how are we going to fix this? We need our chief of science _here_, in the flesh, and I need to be able to think privately."

"I'll go talk with Zelenka and see if he can't figure something out." Sheppard said quickly, suddenly uncomfortable with the whole situation. "He's been working on the memory buffer in the dart since we got back to Atlantis. Hopefully he's made some progress."

"We will all go." Teyla said, almost before Sheppard had finished speaking, thus giving her and Ronan a simple escape route. Sheppard flashed a smile at Elizabeth before he and the two remaining members of his team left her alone with Carson—and, of course, Rodney. Who, disturbingly, hadn't said a single word since his fumbled attempt at… complimenting her? Correcting himself? Well, whatever he had been trying to do, he hadn't spoken since.

"How're you feelin', love?" Carson asked, getting up from where he had sat down on the edge of the spare bed. Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her fingers across her eyelids.

"Honestly?" she asked and peeked over the tips of her fingers. "I just want to go to my quarters. I can't think here and I can't go back to work… so I may as well just go get some rest."

"Aye, that is a fine idea." Carson nodded, pleased to finally have a more-than-willing patient. Usually it was Rodney in Elizabeth's place and Beckett always had to fight him just to keep him from going straight back to work. Elizabeth, at least, was being smart about it. "Would ye like me to send someone back with you?"

Elizabeth shook her head slowly.

"No thank you, Carson." She smiled up at him. "I think I can manage on my own. If you would just be so kind to get my clothes for me…"

"Oh, of course. Wait right here, lass. I'll be right back."

Carson immediately turned on his heels and disappeared from sight so he could retrieve her uniform from whatever nurse had stripped her of it. When he was gone, Elizabeth sighed.

"Rodney, talk to me." She said quietly.

"Why?" he demanded sullenly in her head. Elizabeth's lips quirked in a slight smile.

"Because, frankly, it's more disturbing having a quiet Rodney McKay than a talkative one." She told him truthfully.

"And here I thought you simply tuned me out." He responded churlishly and Elizabeth was struck by how much like a child he could act when he was unhappy. "And I don't act like a child! I'm simply pointing out the fact that you, yourself, said—"

"_I_ said nothing, Rodney McKay." Elizabeth snapped irritably before she could control herself. There were few people who could drive her to distraction, but Rodney was certainly one of them. "You simply overheard a private thought not intended to be heard by anyone. You said yourself that I couldn't very well stop thinking."

"Well… you could… fine!" Rodney snapped and immediately relapsed back into his sullen silence. Elizabeth sighed and looked up, blushing hotly when she realized that Beckett had been standing there for most of the conversation. He lifted and eyebrow and his eyes twinkled with a hidden smile.

"Problems, lass?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly with unvoiced laughter. Elizabeth sighed again—she had a feeling she would be doing that a lot in the future—and sunk down a little in her bed.

"I simply underestimated how _difficult_," she emphasized the word for Rodney's benefit because she knew he was listening, "one scientist could be."

"Ah, lass, I don't envy ye at all." Carson chuckled and handed her her clothes.

"Thanks." Rodney snapped in Elizabeth's head. She refrained from translating and smiled her thanks at the Scotsman. Smiling back Carson pulled the dividing curtain closed around her bed so she could get dressed in privacy.

She was just starting to pull back the covers and hop out of bed when she realized that she wasn't dressing in privacy. Rodney would be seeing whatever she was seeing. And right now she was more than a little uncomfortable with even a man she considered to be her closest friend to see her naked.

Elizabeth was suddenly rocked by a reeling set of emotions that she _knew_ were not hers. First, she felt a brief flash of surprise, followed quickly by excitement, which lasted only a second, before it immediately gave way to embarrassment and finally a rush of terrified horror. And all in the brief few seconds it took for Rodney to realize what she had just been thinking.

"Um, Elizabeth, if you… uh, if you don't…ah…look, then I won't… uh, I won't be able to—er, that is if you…" Rodney trailed off into a faltering silence and Elizabeth felt herself blush with his embarrassment. She was mildly surprised—apparently they were more closely connected in there than she realized if she could feel his emotions. She heard Rodney take a deep breath before he plunged on for one final attempt at getting his words across. "What I'm trying to say is if you don't watch yourself getting dressed then I won't be able to see you either."

Of course, he said it all so fast that it came out sounding more like "whatimtryingtosayisifyoudontwatchyourselfgettingdressedtheniwontbeabletoseeyoueither."

Elizabeth blinked in surprise. Funny—she had just been thinking the same thing. Rodney groaned.

"Dammit, Elizabeth! Why didn't you _say_ something instead of making me sound like a complete idiot?"

"To tell you the truth, Rodney, it was because you were talking to fast to let me get a word in edge wise."

"Then why didn't you _think_ it?" he demanded. Elizabeth blushed again—but this time because of her own emotions and not Rodney's. She couldn't even bring herself to say it out loud, but before she could stop herself she was thinking it—and no matter how private she wanted these thoughts to stay, she may as well have been shouting them into Rodney's ear.

_Because I can't think when you're talking._

Rodney was silent a moment. When he spoke again, his voice sounded hurt and Elizabeth felt like kicking herself.

"Am I really that annoying to you, Elizabeth?" he asked her softly.

"Oh, God, Rodney! That's not what I—"

"You don't have to say anything." Rodney said quietly and Elizabeth felt her heart breaking when she heard the sadness there, too. "I'll try to stay quiet so you can have yourself to yourself."

"Rodney, don't." Elizabeth said sternly. There was no answer. "Rodney?"

"What?"

Elizabeth grinned broadly.

"I thought you were going to stay quiet?" she asked in relieved amusement.

"Well, not when you keep _shouting_ at me."

Elizabeth felt her smile broaden.

"Good." She said smugly. "In that case, you had better keep talking or I'll be shouting at you a lot."

"I thought you wanted me to be quiet?" he asked. Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"No, Rodney, that was you who said that."

"Really? Huh. That doesn't sound like something I'd say."

Elizabeth grinned and while Rodney chatted away in her head, she struggled to get dressed without looking down.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Elizabeth was half-way to her quarters when she stopped. A thought had just crossed her mind…

"No!" Rodney shouted, reading her thoughts. Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Why not?" she asked. "Dr. Heightmeyer could help with this situation." She put her hands on her hips, taking a stance that she normally assumed when talking to an argumentative Rodney. "Or do you know the proper way to deal with two people stuck in one brain?"

"No…" Rodney said slowly, but was quick to add, "but neither does Heightmeyer! So I don't see why we have to—"

"Rodney, really." Elizabeth said shortly, resisting the urge to stomp her foot. "What could it hurt? Honestly."

Rodney grumbled a bit inside her mind before he, very unhappily, agreed. He was still complaining when Elizabeth finally arrived at the woman's office door. Hoping she had no other patients to see that day, Elizabeth raised her hand to knock.

"Wait!" Rodney shouted, trying one last time to dissuade her. "Maybe you should think about this, Elizabeth. Do you want the city to think you can't handle this? I mean, I _am_ just one man, after all, and you're all ready seeking professional help after only twenty-four hours? How's that going to look?"

"Like I've got Rodney McKay in my head." Elizabeth said and knocked. She couldn't resist the urge to tease him and while she waited for Heightmeyer to answer her door, she smiled. "Believe me, Rodney; I held out longer than I think most could."

"Hmph." Rodney grunted sorely. "Funny."

A moment later the door swung open and Kate Heightmeyer looked at her in surprise.

"Dr. Weir! What brings you by? Carson told me you were going back to your quarters."

"I decided it would be best to come here first." Elizabeth said. Heightmeyer smiled and opened her door a little wider so that Elizabeth could come inside. She closed it behind her again and turned to face the leader of Atlantis.

"Is Rodney causing problems already?"

"Hey!" Rodney shouted in her head. "Why does everyone think I'm so annoying?"

"Because, Rodney, you can be rather grating sometimes." Elizabeth pointed out and Heightmeyer raised her eyebrows. It was odd seeing Elizabeth Weir talking to herself. Rodney grumbled, but at least he hadn't relapsed back into one of his sullen silences. Elizabeth could deal with a discontented Rodney far easier than she could deal with a brooding one.

Turing her gaze back to Heightmeyer, Elizabeth smiled.

"Sorry. And, no, Rodney isn't causing any problems. I just decided… well, frankly, I wanted some advice. As you can imagine, I've never had to deal with something like this before."

Heightmeyer smiled and motioned to a chair situated near a huge window overlooking one of Atlantis's many piers.

"I had assumed." She said lightly as she sat down across from her. "Now, what did you want to talk about?"

"Yes, Elizabeth, what _did_ you want to talk about?" Rodney snapped irritably, obviously unhappy at having been dragged against his will to the shrink. Well, he hadn't exactly been dragged. And he was in Elizabeth's head and she had been willing, so in truth—"Nope! It was still against my will. No sugar-coating _that_ one, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth sighed and looked at Heightmeyer.

"Frankly, I want to know what I can do to keep from going crazy." She said bluntly, knowing that would be enough to calm Rodney… or it would through him into a tizzy. But he stayed quiet. Elizabeth motioned to her head. "Having two minds in one… it's already becoming a bit distracting. I'm not going to be able to do my work, Rodney obviously can't do his and I want to know how I—we—can deal with this… situation…while a solution is being found."

Heightmeyer nodded.

"Well, as you know, Elizabeth, I haven't had a lot of experience with this type of situation, either." She smiled and clasped her hands in her lap. "But I think we can find a way for you two to manage through this. I am also a couples' counselor and—"

"_Couple_?" Rodney cried inside Elizabeth's mind, his voice shrill with panic. "No, no, no, no, no, no! We're not… we're not a _couple_! Tell her, Elizabeth! We're not!"

But Elizabeth was having a hard time concentrating on what Rodney was saying. She was being completely overwhelmed by his rush of emotions. There was panic and that familiar horror, so intense that Elizabeth felt her head spinning. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling like she was going to be sick with Rodney's nauseating panic, and covered her ears with her hands, though she knew it would do no good.

"Rodney!" she gasped through his emotions. How could the man handle this? Elizabeth felt like she was going to pass out. "Rodney, I need you to calm down!"

Rodney wasn't listening. He was so flustered at being called a couple with Elizabeth and she couldn't understand the emotion. He was panicked—beyond panicked. He was terrified and she didn't know why. All she knew was that she was going to throw up if he didn't settle down.

"Elizabeth…?" Heightmeyer watched her worriedly, but she was unwilling to call Carson. She watched closely as Elizabeth tried again to get through to him.

"Rodney!" she shouted. "Rodney, stop it, you're hurting me!"

There was a sudden rush of horror and then it all vanished, leaving Elizabeth feeling suddenly cold and tired. She would have collapsed forward if Kate hadn't been there to catch her.

"What happened?" she asked as she pushed Elizabeth back into her seat. Elizabeth shook her head, running a hand across her forehead.

"I… I don't know." She said, her voice shaky. "It… I can feel Rodney's emotions—at least the strong ones—and he suddenly got very… er, panicked, at being called a couple. It was just a little… overwhelming. I'll be okay in a minute."

"Elizabeth?" Rodney asked cautiously. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine, Rodney." She told him trying to keep her stomach settled. She frowned. "What the hell happened with you? I thought you were going to be sick!"

Elizabeth felt her skin flush again with the heat of Rodney's embarrassment.

"Sorry. I was just a little… um… uncomfortable with being called a—"

"Don't lie to me, Rodney McKay!" Elizabeth snapped, suddenly royally pissed off at her chief of science. "I felt that and you can't tell me you were just _uncomfortable_. I've seen you less petrified when you were standing in front of Koyla's gun!"

"It's just… just…" Elizabeth could almost feel Rodney taking a deep breath and he was just about to speak when Kate beat him to it. But instead of complaining, Rodney immediately shut up and withdrew back into silence.

"Dr. Weir." She said quietly, not know that she was interrupting. Elizabeth sighed and looked at her, knowing she would have to wait to talk to Rodney alone. "You said that you can feel Rodney's emotions?"

"Yes." She said, suddenly feeling very tired. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and sleep.

"Can he feel yours?"

"No." Rodney said shortly. "I can only hear your thoughts."

"He says that he can't." Elizabeth said, her weariness fading as a puzzle suddenly presented itself. "He says he can only hear my thoughts… but I can't hear his. I can only feel his emotions."

Kate Heightmeyer frowned.

"Really?" she asked and Elizabeth knew she thought the whole situation had just gotten stranger. Elizabeth couldn't agree more. "So you can feel his emotions, but he can't feel yours, correct? And he can hear your thoughts, but you can't hear his?"

"Right." Elizabeth nodded.

"Well…" Kate said slowly, "I will tell you now that at this moment I don't know how to truly ease this for either of you. But at the same time I see how this can be beneficial to you."

"Beneficial how?" Rodney mumbled and Elizabeth realized that half of her bone-weary fatigue was generated by him. When Heightmeyer didn't respond, Elizabeth remembered that she couldn't hear him.

"Oh," she blinked and sat up a little straighter, "beneficial how?"

"Well, think of it this way—it's the perfect opportunity to get to know each other. I know you are both very close, but this way you two can get closer. Learn how to understand each other. Obviously it's not going to be easy, but when you can sense the other's thoughts or feelings, it makes a relationship that much more easier."

Elizabeth felt the familiar discomfort at the word "relationship", though this time Rodney was aware of it and he managed to keep it from overwhelming her. She frowned mentally. Why was Rodney always so flustered? Obviously, Kate meant a friend relationship and not a romantic one.

"It would be very beneficial to both the leader of this expedition and the head scientist to know what the other was thinking or feeling." Kate continued, unaware of what Elizabeth was thinking or of what Rodney was feeling. "It would make it easier on the two of you as well as the rest of the city. Do you understand?"

"I do." Elizabeth said, shaking herself back into reality. She smiled and got to her feet. "Thank you, Kate, but suddenly I am very tired. Do you mind if we continue this another time?"

"Certainly." Kate smiled and stood, walking Elizabeth to the door. "Would you like me to come with you?"

"No." Elizabeth said quickly. "I'll be fine."

_Besides, Rodney won't let anything happen to me_, she thought to herself and she smiled slightly.

She knew Rodney would hear her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Done."

Elizabeth clenched her teeth and focused her thoughts on the words in front of her. A few seconds later, she flipped the page and began reading. She was halfway through the opposite page when Rodney informed her that he was finished and that she should continue onto the next.

"I'm not finished yet, Rodney." Elizabeth said, forcing calm into her thoughts and her voice.

"Oh." Rodney sounded surprised. "Uh. I thought you would be by now."

Elizabeth smiled—it was more a baring of teeth—and forced herself to concentrate on the page in front of her. She had lost her place. Sighing, Elizabeth scanned the page, trying to figure out where she left off.

"You were on the third paragraph from the top." Rodney told her helpfully. Apparently, though, he couldn't help but add, "It's amazing how slow you read. I thought that you, of all people, would be done reading by now. It's not like this book is rocket science or anything like that. I mean, come on, it's… wait, what are we reading again?"

Elizabeth clenched her teeth and forced her thoughts to remain calm.

"_Pride and Prejudice_." She growled through gritted teeth.

"Really? _That's_ what we're reading? God, no wonder I can get through it so fast."

"I happen to find it relaxing." Elizabeth informed him, knowing she was loosing the battle on keeping calm. Rodney was her best friend—hell, he was closer to her than any other friend she had ever had—but he was also the only one who could drive her absolutely shrieking mad.

"Relaxing? It's written on, like, a sixth grade level! And what happens in it? Absolutely nothing! People get the wrong idea, they get the right one, they get married. That's it."

"Which is why I happen to find it relaxing."

"Come on, Elizabeth. Can't you read something even a _little_ more exciting?"

"_Exciting_?" Elizabeth snapped before she could stop herself. She took a deep breath and, after making sure her thoughts were firmly her _own_, she continued. "Rodney, we _live_ exciting. I don't know what you read after a near-death experience out there in Pegasus, but while I'm waiting here in Atlantis wondering if you are alive or dead or worse, I am on the verge of having a bloody coronary. And after a day like that, _exciting_ is the last thing I want to be reading and so I read this. And as long as you're stuck in _my_ head, you're going to read it or stop complaining. Got it?"

"Yes." Rodney squeaked meekly. Elizabeth sighed—she hated playing the "I'm the boss so pay attention" card, but sometimes with Rodney that was the only way to get him to pay attention.

"Good." She said wearily and she sat back against her pillows to finish reading the chapter. She was just finishing the page she had been trying to read for the past several minutes when Rodney's voice rang inside her head.

"Done."

Elizabeth screamed and flung her book across the room, watching it hit the far wall and fall, _thunk_, to the floor. She sat back against her pillows and crossed her arms across her chest, glaring at the novel lying like a broken bird on the floor.

"That's it, Rodney. We're going to bed." She growled. "And I swear to God, if you say one more thing to me tonight, I'm going to find a way to rip you out of my head myself. Understand?"

No answer.

"Rodney!"

"Yes, dammit, I understand!" Rodney shouted and Elizabeth felt a flush of embarrassment—definitely not her own. She sighed, but made no comment. Rodney would just have to deal with it tonight. She'd talk to him in the morning.

"Good. I'll talk to you in the morning, Rodney."

"'Night." Rodney mumbled shortly and Elizabeth sighed. She pushed unneeded pillows aside and snuggled underneath the covers, still fully clothed. Rodney had gotten nervous enough when she had changed _into_ her clothes. The man would probably have a heart attack if she tried changing _out_ of them.

Elizabeth felt another rush of heated embarrassment when the thought crossed her mind and she knew she had been right.

_Hate boiled up within her, a rage so deep she thought she would burn from the inside out. It engulfed her, made her shake with the force of it, made her skin flush. But more than that, she felt terror—a terror so great she thought that her entire body had turned to ice. She thought she was going to be sick, the heated rage and frigid terror filling her body like a storm from Hell. It filled her, twisted her insides until she hurt, filled her with blind panic. She wanted to cry, to scream, to _kill_. She had never been so terrified in her entire life, nor had she ever been so angry. It bubbled inside her, made her stomach twist until she saw stars in front of her eyes…_

Elizabeth bolted up in bed and threw off the covers. Running across the room, she only just made it to the bathroom before she fell to her knees on the cold floor and vomited into the Atlantean toilet. She threw up again and again until there was nothing left inside of her and she could only dry heave. When there was nothing left—not even a dribble of saliva—she sat back against the wall across from the toilet. She felt cold all over, like she was sick, and she shivered violently. She still felt sick and probably would have thrown up again if her body had had anything left to give up.

Elizabeth pressed a cold, clammy hand to her forehead and pushed her hair out of her eyes. She was still shivering and she couldn't remember feeling this bad since the last time she had gotten the flu—not long after the whole Genii-trying-to-take-over-Atlantis thing.

That simple thought—the briefest mental mentioning of the Genii—brought back a rush of emotions and Elizabeth took deep breaths, trying to keep her stomach under control. Dry heaving was not one of her more favorite pass-times and if she could avoid it, she most certainly would.

Of course, at this point she knew it wasn't up to her.

Her heart was still pounding when Elizabeth struggled to her feet and stumbled over to the sink. She cupped her hands beneath the cold-water spout and splashed herself in the face a few times, trying to clear her head and push away the last horrid dregs of Rodney's nightmare.

Not quite trusting her stomach to keep calm, Elizabeth backed herself against the wall again so she could slide to the floor. She sat there in the clothes she had been wearing the day before and was suddenly too hot. She rolled up her pant legs to her knees and thought about stripping off her shirt, but decided not to torture Rodney any more that night.

Beside, that had been one hell of a bad dream.

Elizabeth tried to form his name, but her lips were dry and the inside of her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls. She swallowed a few times and tried again.

"Rodney?" she asked, her voice coming out in a dry croak. She wondered why she was speaking out loud at all—he could hear her thoughts. Maybe it was just more comforting to hear her own voice after such an… experience. "Rodney?"

At first, there was no answer. There wasn't even any emotion. She just felt alone and cold, shivering on the bathroom floor.

"I'm sorry."

Rodney's whisper was so faint that even inside her own head she could barely hear it. She felt it more than heard it, anyway, like a soft breeze blowing a stray hair across her face—except it was on the inside of her head. It was still a weird feeling, but right now it was the nicest thing Elizabeth had ever felt… heard… whatever.

"Rodney, please don't." Elizabeth said, her voice still quiet and raw from throwing up. She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. "Are you okay?"

There was a long silence.

"Are you?" he asked finally, his voice sounding heartsick and broken. Elizabeth shivered again—her emotions mixed with Rodney's left her feeling cold and empty and so tired she thought she could simply pass out on the cold bathroom floor.

"No." She told him quietly. She would never get a straight answer from him if she lied. "Rodney, what happened?"

"It was just a nightmare." Rodney said, his voice beginning to take on the familiar edge. "I'm sorry you had to—"

"Rodney," Elizabeth interrupted shortly. "I wish you would stop lying to me. Nightmares don't make someone throw up."

There was no reply, but Elizabeth could feel Rodney's emotions: sadness, embarrassment and cold resignation.

"Listen, Rodney," Elizabeth sighed, "who knows how long you and I will be like this? It could be a few more hours or it could be… longer. But in either case, we can't keep lying to each other about things that could hurt the other person. And, forgive me for sounding harsh, but I think I have a right to know about a nightmare so terrible it makes you sick, especially when _I'm_ the one who's going to be throwing up every night."

There was another long pause and Elizabeth wondered if Rodney would ever answer her. It was strange how a man so talkative could suddenly become so silent when trapped in an uncomfortable situation. The stranger thing was he had been in situations a hell of a lot _more_ uncomfortable and had talked the ear off anyone who would listen.

"It's not every night." He said finally, quietly. Elizabeth bit her lip. Now she was getting somewhere, but she was not going to push him. She could feel Rodney's emotions and she knew right now that he would be having more fun at the dentist getting teeth pulled than having his boss delving into his deepest, darkest fears. "So you don't have to worry about that."

"Okay… Rodney, can you tell me? Maybe I can help." Elizabeth offered. She had to admit to herself that this was as much for selfish curiosity as it was to help her best friend. She had a feeling Rodney knew it, too. But then, who was he to complain about selfish curiosity?

"Touché." Rodney mumbled in her head. He sighed heavily. "Well, do you want to go back into the bedroom? This might take a while and I want you to be comfortable at least."

Elizabeth was surprised by his concern. It wasn't often that Rodney McKay went out of his way to make other people comfortable and hearing him say such things now was a bit startling—and rather touching.

"Hmph." Rodney grunted. "Don't get used to it. You said to be honest and I am. But if you keep having these physic contemplations about me then I'm going to stop."

Elizabeth smiled as she struggled to her feet. Rodney's voice was still solemn and subdued, but at least he was regaining his comfortingly familiar sarcasm and snark. Elizabeth much preferred that Rodney McKay—it was the Rodney McKay she knew.

Tottering slightly on still-shaky legs, Elizabeth made it to the bed and sat down on the mattress. She pulled her feet up and sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed, sitting still as she waited for Rodney to continue. When he didn't, Elizabeth decided to prod a bit.

"Rodney," she began quietly, "will you tell me what this dream is about?"

"Nightmare." Rodney corrected shortly. "I will never categorize _that_ as a dream."

Elizabeth nodded in understanding.

"Nightmare, then."

"God, I feel like I'm talking to Heightmeyer again." Rodney mumbled to himself. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"Again?"

"Um… I mean… again as in… um, when we—you—spoke to, with, her earlier. Today. Today was my… er, first time. Only. 'S'what I meant." Rodney said, slurring his words a bit at the end as his voice dropped back into a near-unintelligible mumble. "Um, what were we talking about?"

"Your nightmare." Elizabeth reminded him. She wasn't letting him off that easily.

"Oh." Rodney sounded disappointed that she remembered. "Right."

"Rodney, if you don't want—"

"No, no. You're right that you have a right to know—as long as I'm in your head, anyway." Rodney took a deep breath and Elizabeth felt her heart flutter with Rodney's discomfort. She waited patiently and when Rodney spoke again, his voice had reverted back to its quiet gravity.

"My nightmare isn't so much a nightmare as it is a… a memory. And definitely not a good one." Rodney talked slowly, as if speaking the words were painful. But Elizabeth remained silent and Rodney seemed willing to continue, because he did just that. "I… I keep having nightmares about when the Genii came to Atlantis."

"Oh, Rodney, that's natural." Elizabeth said soothingly. "That was a stressful time for everyone. I still have nightmares sometimes, too."

"Not like these ones." Rodney said quietly and Elizabeth had to admit that he was right. She had never had a nightmare so terrifying it made her vomit. She waited patiently and surprisingly, Rodney continued without being asked. "These are… do you remember when Sora took you to get that Wraith device? When I was left with Koyla?"

Elizabeth felt a chill descend upon her—and she knew it was her own emotions now. She had never forgiven herself for leaving Rodney alone. She had been horrified to see he had been bleeding, and it had taken all of her power not to punch Koyla in the face for it. Luckily, she hadn't, or else he probably would have shot her regardless—along with Rodney, no doubt.

"You wanted to hit Koyla? For me?" Rodney asked, sounding surprised. Elizabeth smiled slightly, for Rodney's brief happiness warmed her from the inside. She nodded and Rodney seemed to perk up even more. "Really?"

"Really, Rodney." She said quietly. "But you were saying?"

"Oh. Right." Rodney seemed a little less hesitant now that he had heard Elizabeth's confession… or rather, her mental one. She didn't mind—she knew he could hear her thoughts and if she really hadn't wanted him to know, she guessed she could have kept it to herself. "Um, well, after you left Koyla asked if… I had a plan. I told him, but not before…"

Rodney coughed inside her head and Elizabeth thought it odd that he had to clear a throat that didn't technically exist at the moment. But she supposed that old habits were hard to break and she wouldn't hold it against him. It sounded like this was hard enough for him as it was.

Rodney took a deep breath and Elizabeth could picture him as if he stood before her—saw him stand straighter with his shoulders back and his head held high proudly, trying to look more confident than he actually felt.

"The cut on the arm wasn't the worst thing he did to me." Rodney said and his voice was suddenly very matter-of-fact. Elizabeth grimaced mentally—he only spoke like that when something went monumentally wrong. The man chuckled dryly. "Actually, that was the first thing they did. Hurt like hell, but it wasn't… well, you'll be happy to know that it wasn't enough to make me tell them about the plan we had."

Elizabeth wondered why he said "we". It had been entirely his idea—well, his and Radek's. She had had nothing to do with it. Whether or not he heard her thoughts, he continued as if he hadn't.

"What they did after that…" Rodney voice cracked and he took another deep breath. "Well, when they realized that I wasn't going to… er… break by physical threats to me, they decided to try threatening the people I knew. And that's why… that's when I told them."

Elizabeth was quiet a long time, but Rodney must have heard the thoughts going through her head because he quietly answered her unspoken questions.

"Koyla wasn't a stupid man. He knew I had more imagination then was good for me. He knew I could fill in the blanks for myself, but he was… nice enough to fill them in for me." Rodney chuckled—a cold, harsh sound. "Graphically. I could picture it then, and sometimes when I sleep… I can see what he would have done to y—what he would have done."

"Oh, God, Rodney." Elizabeth breathed. "I had no idea…"

"I know." Rodney said quickly, obviously embarrassed. "Look, I would really appreciate it if… if you wouldn't… you know, tell anyone. If it got out that the great and wise Rodney McKay was having nightmares about something that had happened nearly a year ago, well… let's just say certain people would probably have a field day with it."

_Kavanagh_, Elizabeth thought bitterly. Rodney chuckled again—it was still a dark sound, but at least now there was a little more humor in it.

"My thoughts exactly. Well… yours, I guess… you know what I mean."

Elizabeth smiled.

"I do, Rodney. Are you feeling better?"

"Much." He lied. Elizabeth knew it was a lie, but she didn't comment on it, nor did Rodney comment on the fact that he knew she knew.

"Good." Elizabeth said quietly. "Perhaps now we can get some sleep."

"Good idea." Rodney said. "And Elizabeth?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Elizabeth smiled.

"That's what friends are for, Rodney. Remember that."

There was no answer, but Elizabeth knew that, despite his silence, Rodney was always listening.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Elizabeth groaned and stretched, sighing contentedly when she heard random snaps and cracks as sore muscles and joints popped back into place. She had slept deeply, despite the previous night, and it was after nights like these that she always had the hardest time getting up and going back to work.

"No problem there." Rodney grumbled inside her head. "Ten bucks says they won't let you go back to work."

"Oh, dammit, you're right." Elizabeth snapped and she sat up in bed. She knew that if it were someone else and not herself in this position, she wouldn't want them to go back to work. The probability that they would be able to concentrate on what they needed to do when they had another person inside their head was… unlikely.

Elizabeth sighed and glared at the far side of the room where _Pride and Prejudice_ was still lying abandoned on the floor. What was she going to do while she waited for Zelenka and the others to figure this out? Reading was obviously out of the question. She doubted Rodney could sit quietly through a movie and besides, she didn't think she could spend all her time pretending to relax in front of a television screen. What was she going to do to keep herself—and Rodney—occupied? Like she had told him the previous night, who knew how long this could take? Hopefully only a few more days—hours seemed overly hopeful—and not much more.

"Oh, come on, Elizabeth. I'm not _that_ bad." Rodney said and Elizabeth couldn't help but smile.

"I see someone's feeling better this morning." She said, noting the definite lift in spirits. "And yes, Rodney, you are that bad."

"Oh, ha ha. Tease the fitful sleeper."

"Only if you insist." Elizabeth smiled.

"Hmph," was Rodney's only reply.

"Okay, I have an idea." Elizabeth said after a moment's silence. "Why don't we—"

"No, no, no and no." Rodney said. "I am not going back to Heightmeyer's office. Dammit, Elizabeth, it's humiliating. The smartest man in the city and the most powerful woman going to a shrink every morning? Come on, Elizabeth. Can't we just… not go?"

"What are you, five?" Elizabeth asked with a raised eyebrow. "Rodney, she can't even _hear_ you. Why are you being such a baby?"

"I'm not being a baby." Rodney mumbled. "I just don't want to go."

"God." Elizabeth groaned and threw back the covers. "Baby."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are t—ah! I am not starting this. Rodney, I'm going to take a shower and get dressed, then we're going to go see Kate whether you want to or not."

But suddenly Elizabeth knew that Heightmeyer was the farthest thing from Rodney's mind. She felt that familiar surge of panic and embarrassment and Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Rodney, I'm sorry, but I have to shower and change. I'm going to smell like a guys' locker room pretty soon if I don't. And you think seeing a shrink is bad…?"

"I know, I know." Rodney said, sounding utterly despondent. "Just… make it quick."

Elizabeth laughed as she hopped out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.

"Rodney, I'm taking a shower, not marching you to the gallows."

"Same thing." Rodney mumbled morosely.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Holy crap, I'll close my eyes. Better?"

Rodney mumbled something unintelligible and Elizabeth took it as a yes, whether he meant it to be or not. She didn't care if Rodney thought she could go a few days without bathing—as a woman, she just figured she was more sensitive to such things and she was already beginning to smell a bit ripe. Plus she hadn't really cleaned up after last night and the smell of stale vomit on her breath was, well, nauseating.

Elizabeth made a point of staying away from the bathroom mirror and tried not to look at herself as she stripped out of her clothes. It was awkward, trying to look everywhere but down at her body as she turned on the shower and hoped in. She squeezed her eyes shut as she quickly soaped and rinsed her hair and made a quick process of everything else. It was probably one of the shortest showers she had ever taken in her entire life, and the entire time she could feel her skin flushing with an embarrassment that was not her own.

Elizabeth hopped out of the shower and quickly threw a towel on. More often than not when it was early and she had nowhere to be in a hurry, she would simply stride across the room naked. She liked the feel of the chill air on her still-damp skin. It was refreshing in the morning, it woke her up faster and it wasn't like anyone could see—

"OH MY GOD!" Rodney shrieked in her mind. Elizabeth jumped—several inches off the ground—and nearly dropped her towel.

"What?" she cried, spinning around and looking around for something amiss. "Rodney, what is it?"

"Oh my God, I saw! I _saw_! Why did you have to _think_ it? I saw! I saw you—oh, I didn't mean to! Don't hit me."

"Rodney, what on Earth are you—oh…" Elizabeth trailed off into silence when she realized what Rodney had "seen". Apparently, thoughts didn't just transmit themselves in the form of words, but in pictures as well…

Rodney was all but hyperventilating now and Elizabeth was beginning to get a bit jittery from all the emotion. It was rather strange because there was the rush of horror and embarrassment, but there was also something else there… something that felt a lot like excitement. Elizabeth almost commented on the latter, but decided not to. Rodney was a guy, after all. He couldn't very well help what he thought—at least not most of the time. Besides, it was her fault for thinking such an image. She just felt bad for poor Rodney, forced to see her walking stark naked across her living room carpet—

"God dammit, Elizabeth, STOP!" Rodney shrieked and Elizabeth winced at the reverberation inside her skull. "What are you trying to do, _kill me_? A man can only take so much."

"Sorry." Elizabeth said, and she really was. Rodney, for all his brashness and boorishness, was really quite a gentleman at heart. At least, that was what Elizabeth liked to believe.

"It's probably not true." Rodney pointed out sullenly. Apparently, this new line of thought was enough of a change of subject to get his blood pressure under control again because Elizabeth could finally breathe normally. "Every woman I've tried to date has ended up calling me a boar and a pig and… any number of other quaint little pet names."

Elizabeth sighed.

"Oh, Rodney, I'm sorry." She paused and raised an eyebrow. "And what about Katie Brown?"

"Who? Oh! Right… um, Katie. Yeah, well, you know, she hasn't gotten a lot of time to know me…"

"And yet you were supposed to go out on a date with her, weren't you?" Elizabeth asked calmly and she could feel Rodney's emotions flaring up again. This time, though, there was something besides the normal embarrassment. What was it? Shame? Rodney McKay, ashamed that he was going on a date? Now that definitely didn't seem right. Maybe her Rodney-emotion-radar was going a little crazy after last night's… incident.

Rodney coughed and Elizabeth could almost see him in her mind, hopping from one foot to the other and looking everywhere but at her face. It was what he did when he hit upon a particularly uncomfortable subject. But why would Katie Brown—a perfectly nice woman from what Elizabeth could tell—be an uncomfortable subject? It was about time Rodney had a love life… not that it was any of her business.

"Hmph." Rodney mumbled in her head. "No, it isn't any of your business. And why are you still in a towel? Can't you get dressed and talk at the same time?"

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow in surprise. That last question had been particularly snappish, which made Elizabeth think that Katie truly was an uncomfortable subject for Rodney to be discussing. But why on Earth—

"Just drop it, will you?" Rodney shouted. "It's not like I'm going out with her anyway. I mean, she didn't ask Elizabeth Weir to dinner."

Elizabeth was about to open her mouth to apologize, but something in Rodney's tone made her stop. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she decided to take Rodney's advice, at last, and let the matter drop. Keeping her mind purposefully blank, Elizabeth quickly dressed. She sat down on the edge of the bed to pull her shoes on and as she did so, she mused aloud—to herself and to Rodney.

"Look, I still think it's a good idea to go and talk to Kate. Maybe she can think of a way that one of us, at least, can get some work done around here. Or maybe in talking to her one of us will come up with an idea of how to reverse this whole thing. In any case, I still think we should go."

Rodney sighed.

"Fine." He mumbled churlishly. "Fine! We'll go."

Elizabeth smiled and got to her feet, pulling her jacket on as she headed for the door.

"Thank you, Rodney."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Good morning, Dr. Weir." Kate smiled as the door to her office slid open. Elizabeth smiled.

"Good morning, Kate." She said. The use of the doctor's first name, Heightmeyer knew, was to point out that this was to be an informal meeting. She nodded and the door slid closed as Elizabeth stepped in.

"And how are you… two doing this morning?"

"Better than expected, I suppose." Elizabeth said. No need to mention Rodney's nightmares. Besides, somehow she had an inkling that she already knew…

"She does not!" Rodney shouted—a little too quickly. "I don't need a shrink. I'm perfectly healthy."

Elizabeth sighed and Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Rodney?" she asked and Elizabeth nodded. Kate smiled slightly and motioned for Elizabeth to sit. "I thought so. You tend to get a mildly detached look on your face whenever he seems to be talking to you."

"I do?" Elizabeth asked at the same time as Rodney asked, "She does?"

Kate nodded.

"But tell me, what brings you here this morning? I don't know what else I can do to help you…"

"Told you!" Rodney shouted. "Now let's go get something to eat—"

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly and Rodney immediately lapsed into a grumbling silence like he usually did when she used that tone. She looked at Heightmeyer and smiled apologetically. "Sorry."

"No problem." Kate said. "Now, why…?"

"Well, I was hoping that maybe last night you may have gotten some sort of incite on how to deal with this… er… situation a little better. I just realized that neither Rodney nor I are fit to return to work, so we are going to have to figure out a way to spend our time without driving each other…"

"Crazy is the word you're looking for, I think." Rodney told her grumpily. Elizabeth sighed and nodded. When Kate didn't respond, Elizabeth blushed.

"Oh. Right. Um, crazy." She said out loud. It was hard to remember that no one else could hear Rodney when his voice was so clear inside her head. Kate nodded in understanding.

"I see. I imagine that when the two most important people in Atlantis aren't allowed to go back to work, it would get a little irritating. Well…" Kate frowned a moment before brightening with a look that said she had suddenly been struck by an idea. "Why don't the two of you try experimenting?"

"_Excuse me_?" Rodney yelped, his voice rising to his panic-shriek. Elizabeth didn't blame him, though she managed to keep calm. She raised an eyebrow and repeated Rodney's question.

"Um… excuse me?"

"Sorry." Heightmeyer apologized. "I suppose I could have worded that better."

"Yes, you could have." Rodney snapped.

"What I meant was… there are two working minds inside your body, Elizabeth. Two separate minds. But perhaps Rodney has as much control over your body as you do. Have you tried to see?"

"I don't like where this is going…" Rodney said glumly. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"You mean, have we tried to see if Rodney can take over my mind?"

"No. That's not what I meant at all." Kate was quick to reassure. "What I meant was… well, Rodney may be trapped inside your mind for a while. If he has equal control over your body… well, for example, maybe he would be able to eat citrus. You're not allergic to it. Things like that. I know this is also going to sound wrong, but you should play. Have fun. Make this a good thing, not a challenge. Understand?"

Elizabeth was nodding—she liked the idea. It would defiantly give them something to distract each other with. But Rodney did not seem at all pleased with the idea.

"No! Elizabeth, _no_. This is a bad, bad, _bad_ idea."

"Oh, come on, Rodney. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Elizabeth, you aren't a _robot_ that you can just download a subconscious into! You are a human being, a _person_. I'm not going to take over your body. It's too _"The Body Snatchers"_ for me. Besides, I wouldn't want to… hurt you."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. She had never heard him talk like this with anyone. Nor had she heard him ever balk so much. Normally, in a situation like this, she would have expected Rodney to be the first one to come up with this idea—

Elizabeth's eyes flew open with sudden realization.

"Rodney! You _knew_ about this, didn't you?"

"Well, I didn't _know_." Rodney said slowly. "But I… figured."

"Well, then let's try it!"

"Why are you so excited about this?" Rodney asked. "I'd be taking over your _body_. Don't you know what that means? You'd have no control! I could do whatever I want… not that I would, of course."

"Of course." Elizabeth said gently. "Rodney, I trust you. I know you won't hurt me. Please? Just as a distraction, if nothing else. You're the scientist, after all. How can you pass up a chance like this?"

"Easier than you'd think." Rodney grumbled. "Fine. But I'm telling you right now—you _made_ me do it. Remember that."

"I will, Rodney." Elizabeth said softly and smiled. "I promise."

Rodney sighed and took a deep breath, as if preparing to jump of the high-dive.

"Okay… here we go."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Elizabeth's eyes opened and Rodney was still staring across at Heightmeyer. Well, nothing new there, he could see what Elizabeth saw. Okay, so that wasn't going to prove anything. He looked down at her hands to see if maybe something had changed there—

Wait! He had looked down. _He_ had looked down.

He raised a hand in front of his face and wiggled the fingers, marveling at the fact that he was staring at Elizabeth's hand and not his own. Hmmm… he had never realized how well manicured she was.

Okay, so he could move her eyes and hands. Good to know. What else could he do?

"Um… testing, testing. One, two, three." Rodney spoke and was surprised to hear Elizabeth speaking the words for him. No—_he_ was speaking the words, but in Elizabeth's voice. Through her lips. Okay, weird.

"Rodney?" Heightmeyer asked slowly. Rodney looked down at his body again—Elizabeth's—and patted himself down. Then he realized what he was doing and quickly jerked his hands away from the whole chest… area. Yeah, definitely weird.

"Looks like it." He said and rested Elizabeth's hands in her lap again. His lap. Her lap. Whose lap? Oh, it didn't matter.

"Is… er, is Elizabeth still there?"

"I'm here."

Rodney jumped—literally, for once—when he heard Elizabeth speak. Except this time, the words were inside _his_ head. Or, at least the head he was borrowing. Yeah, this was definitely really, really, _really_ weird.

"Uh, she's here." Rodney said quickly. He stumbled over the words a bit when he heard Elizabeth's voice speaking them. He felt like he was trying to talk over her and right after she had spoken inside her head…

"So, Rodney, what is it like?" Elizabeth asked. Rodney frowned. Hadn't she been listening? It was really, really, really—

"Wait!" Rodney shouted. "You can't hear what I'm thinking?"

"Apparently not." Elizabeth answered. "But I suppose it makes sense. I couldn't hear what you were thinking before. Why would I be able to now?"

"Hmm. I just assumed that whoever was in… uh, in charge, I guess, would automatically be… broadcasting."

"Apparently not." Elizabeth repeated. "I guess you could only hear _my_ thoughts, which means that I can probably still only feel _your_ emotions."

"Oh, yeah. This is weird."

"Definitely." Elizabeth agreed.

"Okay, trust me, it's definitely weirder from where I'm sitting." Kate said.

Rodney marched down the hallway towards the mess hall. Or, rather, Elizabeth was. But since Rodney was in control of her body, Elizabeth was walking with his gait and not her own. Which would probably explain the weird looks he kept getting…

"God, I'm starving." Rodney said, rubbing his hands together. Rather, rubbing Elizabeth's hands together.

"I bet you are." Elizabeth said. "I haven't eaten anything since yesterday."

"Hmm… wonder what they're serving today?"

"Last I heard there was key lime pie on the list."

"Elizabeth, why would I want to eat anything with lime in it—"

"Because, Rodney," Elizabeth said, amusement filling her voice, "_I_ can."

"Oh!" Rodney grinned. "Well, then, what are we waiting for?"

"I wonder." Elizabeth said and he could hear the smile in her voice. Now that he thought about it, there was probably a similar one on her lips, too. Or rather, his grin on her lips.

Yep. Still weird.

"Hey, look, it's Elizabeth." John said, glancing up from the table he was sharing with Ronan and Teyla. "Apparently she's feeling better. Rodney must not be giving her any trouble today."

"Should we not invite her to dine with us?" Teyla asked. John grinned—always the polite one.

"Sure—oh, here she comes anyway. And… she appears to be hungry."

The three members of Atlantis's frontline team watched in surprise as Elizabeth came over to join them, her plate covered with just about everything on the menu, including a slice of key lime, banana cream and lemon meringue pie. She sat down across from Sheppard—beside Ronan—and grinned at the three of them.

"Hey, guys. How's it going?" she asked brightly. She grinned at Ronan and patted him on the arm. "How're you doing, big fellah?"

Ronan didn't answer. He just stared at her like she had just grown a second head. Elizabeth looked at Sheppard and Teyla and saw similar expressions.

"What?"

"Are you… feeling all right, Dr. Weir?" Teyla asked slowly.

"Never better." Elizabeth grinned. "Watch this."

She took a huge forkful of lemon meringue and stuffed it into her mouth. She hadn't even swallowed before she spoke again.

"It's _lemon_. Can you believe it?" she laughed and ate the rest of the slice in record-breaking time. She finished off the banana and key lime in equal amounts of time before she moved on to the rest of her food. She waved her chicken drumstick in the air.

"Check it out. _Lemon_ chicken." She bit out a huge chunk. She chewed a bit and then shrugged. "Eh, I've had better."

"Elizabeth… are you _sure_ you're feeling okay?" Sheppard asked slowly. "Because you're acting sort of… um…"

"Crazy." Ronan grunted. Sheppard shot him a look.

"I was going to say _odd_."

Ronan shrugged and went back to eating. Apparently, his original surprise had given away to amusement and he was perfectly happy to be sitting next to a crazy Elizabeth Weir so long as she didn't interfere with is lunch.

Teyla and Sheppard watched in amazement—and mild disgust—as Elizabeth polished off everything on her plate, pointing out every time she ate something with lemon in it. She finished off by drinking a huge glass of lemonade.

"Ah." She breathed, setting the glass down. "It's been a while. Well, I'm full. It was nice talking with you. Don't be a stranger; you know where I work. Which reminds me—why have you been avoiding me?"

"We… haven't." Sheppard said, his words sounding dumb even to him. But he really was confused. Why was Weir acting so damn weird? "You've been sort of preoccupied—Elizabeth, what is going on?"

"Nothing. Okay, see you later."

Elizabeth got to her feet and after dumping her tray, she walked out of the mess hall. Or rather, she strode.

A very familiar stride.

That was definitely not her own.

"That was…" Teyla paused when she couldn't find the word.

"Strange." Sheppard supplied. She nodded slowly.

Ronan merely grunted and kept on eating.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Rodney, you could have been a little more… discrete back there." Elizabeth said, her voice taking on that warning tone. Rodney sighed.

"Heightmeyer said we should have fun." He said, knowing as soon as the words had left his—her—mouth that it had been the wrong thing to say.

"With _my_ body, Rodney. I noticed that you failed to mention that it was _you_ controlling me and not me."

Rodney paused, trying to think of some response. He frowned… or rather, it was Elizabeth's brow that wrinkled with thought, but it was him doing the thinking… yes, this was still very weird.

"Need I remind you, Elizabeth, that this was _your_ idea in the first place? I was against it. _Remember_?"

"Which is why I am surprised in you, Rodney." Elizabeth responded immediately and Rodney winced. Once again, the wrong thing. "Since you were so uncomfortable with this whole idea in the first place, I would have thought you would have handled the situation with a little more tact. Remember, they thought it was _Elizabeth Weir_ sitting with them and not Rodney McKay. So tell me, Rodney, how you think that will make me look?"

"Uh…"

"Exactly." Elizabeth said, her response clipped and short. Rodney sighed. Great, he had pissed her off. He was getting good at that lately, and that was the last thing he wanted to be doing. He didn't want her to hate him. She was right—he should have handled things better.

Rodney paused, then smiled slightly.

"Okay, but you have to admit, that was sort of funny seeing the looks on their faces."

There was a long pause, but then, "maybe a little."

"See? I told you!"

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly. Rodney sighed.

"I'll explain it to them the next time I see them." he mumbled.

"How about I do the explaining?" Elizabeth said and Rodney knew it wasn't because she didn't trust him. It was because she wanted to take the ordeal off his shoulders, wanted to bear the burden for him. He could hear her thoughts even if she wasn't thinking them and he knew that was why she had suggested it. He sighed, his—her—shoulders slumping slightly with the knowledge that, once again, Elizabeth was helping him when he should have been the one helping her.

"Fine." He said shortly. "The next time you see them, you can explain it."

"Why not now, Rodney?"

"Because." Rodney told her lamely, hoping she wouldn't notice where he was headed.

"Rodney… where are we going?"

Damn.

"No where you haven't been before." He told her, picking up the pace.

"Rodney!" Elizabeth scolded inside his head. "You're going to the lab!"

"Oh, come on, Elizabeth! Zelenka and the others need my help. They won't be able to figure this out unless I'm there to—"

"Rodney, I'm sure they can manage just fine without you."

"Just give me a couple of hours, Elizabeth." Rodney all but begged her. "Let me see what they're doing. If it _honestly_ looks like I can't be of _any_ help, then I'll leave."

"Promise?" Elizabeth asked slowly, her voice making it clear that she didn't completely believe him.

"Promise." Rodney nodded. He shrugged. "Of course, the chances of them not needing my help are almost imposs—"

"Rodney!"

"Yes, yes. I promise." Rodney shouted, throwing his—her—hands in the air. "Sheesh."

Zelenka looked up from his laptop just in time to see Elizabeth Weir stride into the lab he was using to work on the crashed Wraith dart. He immediately leapt to his feet, surprised to see her here.

"Dr. Weir!" he cried in his thick Czech accent. "What, uh, what are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on your work, Radek." She said in a tone that sounded oddly familiar, but one that was certainly not hers. In fact, she sounded very much like a certain snarky scientist. But that was impossible…

"Uh, yes, of course." Zelenka said slowly, fumbling over his words in his confusion. "Um… well, unfortunately we haven't come up with much—"

"Ha!" Elizabeth shouted smugly. She rested her hands on her hips and gave him a condescending look. "I thought as much. Without me the rest of you are practically helpless."

"Ex—excuse me?" Zelenka blinked in surprise. But the woman wasn't listening. She had pushed past him and was looking down at the laptop Zelenka had just been working at. She snapped her fingers and pointed to the Czech, who automatically responded to the very Rodney-esk gesture and came to stand beside her. She motioned to the screen.

"What the hell is this?" she snapped and looked up at him. "Have you been doing _any_ work? This is gibberish!"

"What?" Zelenka asked, dumbfounded. The other scientists in the room were beginning to pay attention to the sound of their calm leader's voice snapping at the current head of their team. Whatever work had been going on was suddenly coming to a standstill and Zelenka, looking around to see if _anyone_ knew what the hell was going on, saw only blank looks—a look that he was certain he shared.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to respond, paused and then frowned.

"Because it _is_!" she shouted to something no one had said. Zelenka looked at her in surprise and the other scientists were now completely and thoroughly confused. Elizabeth paused again and then motioned dramatically at the screen. "Look at it, Elizabeth! It's _useless_! I told you they wouldn't be able to get any work done without me. Now, if you just give me a few hours—"

"Dr. Weir?" Zelenka asked slowly, his head spinning with the image of Elizabeth Weir not only yelling at him, but apparently arguing with herself…

"No, you idiot!" Elizabeth snapped, her green eyes glaring at him. "Haven't you been paying attention? It's _me_."

"Dr. Weir." Zelenka agreed, though he wasn't quite certain Dr. Weir was feeling all that well…

"No!" Elizabeth stamped her foot. "Not _Elizabeth_. It's me! _Rodney_." Elizabeth paused and looked slightly sheepish. "Didn't, uh, didn't I mention that earlier?"

Zelenka couldn't respond as his mouth was hanging open in astonishment. Elizabeth—Rodney—glanced around the room and saw similar looks of wide-eyed shock staring back at him.

"Huh." Elizabeth grunted. "Oops."

That was the last straw. It was bad enough that Rodney had, _again_, failed to mention that it was _him_ in control of her body, but now he was screaming at his staff—all the while in _her_ voice. This wasn't funny anymore. She was not going to allow him to make her look like the bad guy. She generally turned a blind eye to his snappish attitude when it came to his support staff merely because Zelenka had told her once that he really did think it helped with the newer recruits to keep them in check. Plus, no one had complained… much. But this was too much. Ignoring it when she wasn't around was one thing. Ignoring it while she was _there_ was something else entirely.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly as he continued screaming at Zelenka. "Rodney, calm down. Look at it again, how is this gibberish?"

Rodney, in the middle of preparing another tirade, stopped and motioned at the screen.

"Because it _is_!" he told her lamely and Elizabeth frowned mentally. He may have had control over her body, but that gave him no right to use it in such a way. Not only was he not accomplishing anything useful, but he was making _her_ look bad. Besides, did he just _assume_ that she could understand what he was looking at?

"Rodney." Elizabeth said shortly, a little firmer this time. "I think this was a bad idea—"

"Look at it, Elizabeth! It's _useless_!" Rodney shouted, paying no attention to what she was trying to say and ignoring the fact that she could not understand even half of what Zelenka had typed on his laptop. "I told you they wouldn't be able to get any work done without me. Now, if you just give me a few hours—"

"Dr. Weir?" Zelenka's soft, very confused voice cut in.

"Rodney, you know I can't understand—"

"No, you idiot!" Rodney snapped, ignoring her completely, and glaring at the stunned Czech. "Haven't you been paying attention? It's _me_."

"Dr. Weir." Zelenka agreed slowly, though he was sounding less certain of himself.

"No!" Rodney stamped Elizabeth's foot. "Not _Elizabeth_. It's me! _Rodney_."

"You might have told them that sooner!" Elizabeth snapped, thoroughly fed up with McKay at the moment. At least he had the decency to sound suddenly sheepish.

"Didn't, uh, didn't I mention that earlier?"

Rodney took in the stunned looks he was getting and Elizabeth sighed irritably inside his head—or rather, her head.

"No, Rodney." She said wearily. "You didn't."

"Huh." Rodney said, sounding more confused that he had missed the fact than sorry that he had. "Oops."

"Rodney, we're going back to my quarters right now!"

"Not yet, Elizabeth!" Rodney shouted back, turning back to the screen. "I have work to do here—"

"Rodney?" Zelenka asked slowly. Rodney glared up at him.

"Yes, _Radek_. A little slow today, are we?"

"Rodney—"

"Elizabeth, please." Rodney sighed and began typing away at the computer despite Zelenka's protests. "I'll have this finished in a few hours and then you won't have a thing to worry about."

"Rodney, would you listen to me?"

"Rodney, what do you think you are doing?" Zelenka shouted, finally finding his voice again. "You are not even supposed to be working on this!"

"Who says?" Rodney snapped.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly.

"I do!" Zelenka snapped back. "Now get out of my lab or—"

"_Your_ lab?" Rodney straightened and glared at the be-speckled man. "When, pray tell, did this become _your_ lab?"

"Rodney, do not—"

"It is mine until you are able to return to work." Zelenka said slowly, his breathing heavy with barely controlled rage. Rodney laughed and spread his—Elizabeth's—arms.

"Well, here I am! So no need to worry about that."

"Rodney, turn around and walk out of this lab _immediately_." Elizabeth snapped, but once again, she was ignored.

"Dr. McKay," Zelenka stepped up to him so that he was nose to nose with Elizabeth, glaring up at her, for she was just a fraction taller than the small Czech, "I am ordering you to leave my lab until you are able to return to work on your own in your _own_ body. Understand?"

"Or what?" Rodney narrowed Elizabeth's eyes. "You'll have me _removed_?"

"If I must." Zelenka growled. "I will not have you ruining _our_ work because of _your_ ego."

"_My_ ego? Whose not letting me even show you what you've done wrong—"

"I have done nothing wrong!" Zelenka shouted. "Now get out of my lab or—"

"It's not your lab!" Rodney roared. "It's my lab and you have no right to be calling it—"

"Rodney, will you listen to me?" Elizabeth screamed, missing whatever Zelenka had to say to counteract McKay.

"Shut up, Zelenka! You don't know what you're—"

"You self-centered, egotistical pain in the ass!" Zelenka shouted.

"Idiot Czech!" Rodney snapped back. "What the hell did they teach you in your backwards country anyway? Didn't they ever tell you how _not_ to blow up an entire city? Or maybe if you had actually paid attention we wouldn't be having this discussion!"

"No, because if I had not been _paying attention_ you would still be trapped inside a Wraith dart along with Dr. Weir with no way to get out instead of here, in her body, screaming at me!"

"That was just pure dumb luck on your part!" Rodney screamed. "Anyone could have figured out how to push a button!"

"Rodney, that is _enough_!" Elizabeth roared and used every ounce of thought she had to gain back control of her body. But Rodney was too enraged—it had been eating her up since he had started his little shouting match with Radek—and wasn't about to give up that easily. Whether or not he realized he was resisting her, he was too focused to give up speech quite yet. But that was just fine. He was so busy yelling that he was weakened his hold over her other bodily functions—such as use of her limbs—and she was going to put a stop to this nonsense before Rodney got her hauled off by the goddamn Marines.

"McKay, if you are not out of my lab in one minute I'll—"

"You'll what, Zelenka? Because this is my—"

Rodney was interrupted by Elizabeth's hand slapping him hard across the face. It didn't matter that she had just hit herself, Rodney had been the one to feel it. His mouth fell open in surprise and Zelenka, his eyes wide, watched him warily.

"Rodney." Elizabeth said slowly and clearly, trying to keep her voice calm. "It's time to give me back my body."

"Yeah." Rodney said absently, rubbing his—her—cheek. "I think so, too."

Elizabeth's eyes closed and when they opened again, it was because _she_ had wanted them to.

The first thing Elizabeth noticed was that, aside from the monotonous beeping of machinery, the lab had gone deathly silent. No one was speaking—no one even seemed to be breathing. They were all staring at Elizabeth with wide eyes, Zelenka included. Some of the scientists looked simply shocked, while others looked frightened. Zelenka seemed to be torn between the two—though he also looked extremely worried.

"R—Rodney?" he asked slowly. Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she shook her head.

"No, Radek." She said softly. "It's me."

"Dr. Weir." He breathed, sounding relieved. She nodded slowly, but she was only half paying attention. Her emotions were roiling and she couldn't determine which ones were hers and which ones were Rodney's, but the man was being unnaturally quiet. His silence, especially after being slapped, was unnerving and she was beginning to worry. It was difficult to stay angry when she was more bothered about what she had done to him. She had never hit him before—not to say she hadn't had the urge once in a while, but she never would have thought herself capable of actually striking the man. Despite the fact that it was the only way she could get his attention, she was beginning to fear that she had just crossed a line.

"Dr. Weir?"

Elizabeth realized she had been quiet for quite a few minutes and she looked at the concerned scientist, smiling wearily.

"I'm sorry, Radek. Um… I'm sorry we interrupted you. It won't happen again."

"Do—do you want me to call Dr. Beckett?" Zelenka asked slowly. Elizabeth somehow managed another smile and shook her head.

"That's not necessary. I'm—I'm just going to go back to my quarters. Continue on." She said softly, raising her head and faced the entire silent science staff. "You're doing well."

Without waiting for a reply, Elizabeth turned and walked out of the lab. It wasn't very far to her quarters, but it was still a long walk and it was some time before she reached her door. She was tired beyond recognizing all of the sudden and she wearily flashed her hand across the combination to her room. And as the door slid open, Elizabeth realized that Rodney still hadn't said a word.

"Rodney?" she asked, pausing in her doorway.

Silence.

"Rodney?"

Still nothing. Elizabeth sighed and her shoulders slumped.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. He did not respond. Elizabeth nodded, as if realizing something, and stepped into her room, letting the door close behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

"Hey, Doc, are you busy?"

Carson looked up to see Sheppard standing uneasily in the doorway into the infirmary. He was alone and stood leaning against the inside of the door. But where he usually appeared very casual, he now looked as if at any minute he would be ready to sprint down the hall. Carson wasn't used to seeing the Colonel so edgy and immediately warning bells were going off inside his head. He tried to stay calm, though, and play innocent so as not to worry the military man.

"No, son, come in. How can I help ye?"

Sheppard pushed away from the door and slowly walked into the ward. Carson recognized that walk: that was the walk of a man unwilling to say something but knowing he had to say it. He had his hands tucked into his pockets and was slumped slightly, making the tall man seem just a few inches smaller—as if that would save him. The warning bells were clanging loudly now and Carson had to fight to keep himself from grabbing Sheppard by the collar and shaking him, demanding what the hell was wrong and who he had to patch up now.

"It's… uh, have you heard from Elizabeth lately?" he asked, his voice catching as he tried to sound casual and failing miserably at it.

"No." Carson said, but was quick to add, "but I also didn't ask her to keep tabs with me. She knows how to take care of herself and I know she would come to see me if there was a problem."

"Oh." Sheppard was suddenly very interested in his boots and Carson swallowed the urge once again to grab the Colonel and shake him violently.

"Why?" he asked, his tone coming out a bit more sharply than he meant it to. But apparently, it worked because Sheppard looked up and Carson realized what he had the look of a lad caught with his hand in the cookie jar. What in the bleeding hell was going on?

"Well, Zelenka called me up on a private line to tell me that Elizabeth had been in the lab, except it had been Rodney in possession of her body."

Carson nodded.

"Aye, Heightmeyer told me they were tryin' it out."

Sheppard looked up sharply.

"She told _you_? When? Goddammit, I should have known it was Rodney in the mess ha—"

"Colonel!" Carson said shortly and Sheppard's eyes snapped back up to meet his. "Focus, please."

"Oh, right. Er… right. Any way, Zelenka told me that apparently Elizabeth and Rodney had gotten into a bit of a… um… argument and that when Elizabeth—actual Elizabeth—left, she seemed distracted."

"Aye…" Carson nodded expectantly.

"Well, he asked if I could go check on her and I did. I went to her door and knocked and didn't get an answer so I figured she was just tired and had decided to get some shut-eye—you know, Rodney can be annoying at the best of times but twenty-four-seven has got to be a handful."

"Aye." Carson chuckled, though the noise sounded forced even to him.

"Well, I let it slide for a few hours but the next morning we didn't see her in the mess—or at all the day before, and I went to talk to her a little after noon. So I asked Teyla to go check up on her and she did, but there was still no answer. And that was around noon of that day, too, so about twenty-four hours."

Carson was a little annoyed by how precise Sheppard had to be with time, for it was only delaying the inevitable, but he knew he was only doing it for Carson's benefit—which made the Scot all the more nervous.

"Anyway, after no answer we figured, okay, that big of a fight, Weir and McKay are probably still duking it out, so we let it drop. Well, I went back there this morning… and she still hasn't answered her door, Doc. I even had someone in the control room find her in the city, just in case she had left, but it said she was still in her quarters."

Carson blinked.

"Today—dammit, son, it's nearly three in the afternoon and you still haven't seen her?"

Sheppard shook his head and Carson realized why he was feeling so uncomfortable—he felt he had waited too long and now if it turned out anything had happened it would be on his head. Or so he would have convinced himself.

"I've even asked around and got records of her whereabouts for the past three days. According to the life signs detector, she hasn't left her room since leaving Zelenka's lab and that was nearly two days ago…"

"Bloody hell." Carson sighed. "Okay, well don't fret, son. It's probably nothin'. Maybe fatigue is jus' a side effect of havin' two personalities in one—and as ye said, Rodney's more personality than most can handle."

"Maybe… in any case, Doc, I'm worried. This isn't like Elizabeth. Or Rodney for that matter. _One_ of them should have shown up by now."

"Aye." Carson nodded. "Especially Rodney. Even in another body he'd probably still worry about his hypoglycemia which means he should 'ave left at least once t' get food. No, Colonel, I see why ye're worried. I'll come with ye t' her room. Get Teyla, Dr. Heightmeyer and Lieutenant Cadman as well."

Sheppard nodded.

"Why?" he asked, suddenly realizing he didn't know what he was agreeing to.

"Teyla for feminine support, if ye want t' call it that. Kate because she might 'ave a better idea as t' what we're dealin' with and Laura because she was there when they were taken by th' Wraith. It might jus' be a good idea t' 'ave her around."

Sheppard nodded again and took off running. Carson could already hear him on his radio with Teyla, telling her where to meet them. Carson took a deep breath to steady himself before he started collecting a small medical kit. As he did so, he shook his head.

Normally it was Rodney or Sheppard getting into some scrape or another, but Carson had noticed that Elizabeth wasn't too bad at getting herself into trouble, either. She worked late into the night, even though she berated Rodney for it, drank way more coffee than was healthy for a human being, and stressed out over everything in the city—especially the safety of her off-world teams. She was most often concerned, then, about her flagship team—informally known as A-1—and thus Rodney, who now happened to be trapped inside her head. Carson couldn't imagine what this was doing to the poor woman; the two most jittery, stressed out people—though Elizabeth hid it much better than Rodney—trapped in the same brain together for… oh, it was three or four days by now. Carson knew he would have had a nervous breakdown by now. He just hoped that hadn't been the case with Elizabeth.

Twenty minutes after leaving Carson, Sheppard was waiting outside Elizabeth's door with Teyla, Heightmeyer and Cadman. The latter smiled at Carson when he approached, though the motion didn't reach her eyes. Carson didn't hold it against her though—they were all pretty worried at this point. And Cadman was feeling just as bad as Sheppard because even though he had been the one to shoot down the dart, Cadman was berating herself for letting the people in her charge be abducted in the first place.

Not that she could have helped it. Hell, if she hadn't been there, Carson would probably be the one in Elizabeth's head and not Rodney. Or, worse, it could have been Rodney and Carson trapped together.

A disconcerting thought that Carson was quick to push away.

"I rang again." Sheppard said, looking worse off then when he had left the infirmary. "Still no answer."

"I'm afraid I could be responsible for this." Kate said softly. "I was the one to suggest that Elizabeth try sharing her mind with Rodney and because of that—"

"Ach, now don't go blamin' yerself, too, Doctor." Carson said shortly. "I don't know a one of us tha' isn't feelin' wretched about what is goin' on here, but the truth of it is, none of us could 'ave done a thing differently without havin' gotten the both of them killed. What we 'ave t' worry about now is how we are goin' t' fix this, not how we could 'ave stopped it."

"Well said, Doctor Beckett." Teyla said, her voice once again filled with the soothing sound of calm trust. Trust in her own abilities and those of the people around her. As a woman who had grown up needing that trust to survive, she was always the first one to share it and Carson appreciated it more now than ever. Hopefully Teyla would be able to help Elizabeth with whatever she needed help with right now. Hopefully they all would.

Beside the other women, Cadman nodded and smiled at Carson again—this time it did reach her eyes and the doctor felt a warm calm fill him. They trusted him and he trusted them. That was the perfect place to be in a situation like this and that was what was going to fix it, too. He sighed and nodded to the door.

"So, if she's not answering, 'ave we got a way to open th' door?"

"I've got people working on it." Sheppard said immediately. "Zelenka's in the control room helping them get past Elizabeth's code. He shouldn't be much—"

"Colonel Sheppard," Zelenka's voice sounded over all of their comms and they all jumped in surprise. "I have bypassed Elizabeth's personal code and am opening the doors now."

Sheppard nodded.

"Understood. Thanks, Zelenka."

"You are welcome. Opening doors now." He repeated.

Good to his word, a moment later the Ancient doors slid open with a soft sigh, revealing the darkened room inside. Sheppard walked in first with Teyla close behind him, Carson entering with Kate and Cadman. As they had feared, they were not happy when they found Elizabeth.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Elizabeth spent the rest of the day trying to get Rodney to talk to her, but it was useless. In the process of trying to get him to speak, she had run the gantlet of emotions. At first, she had been guilt-ridden, but after his silence had reached an hour, she had grown concerned. She had ignored Sheppard's knocks at the door—hell, she hardly heard him. She was too engrossed in trying to get Rodney to talk to really notice anything else around her. After another few hours she had grown increasingly agitated until now, well past midnight, she was pacing back and forth across her room in a rage.

"Goddammit, Rodney, I said I was sorry!" Elizabeth shouted, relieved that the rooms were at least mostly soundproof. There were guards stationed around at this time of night to patrol the inhabited parts of the city and the last thing she needed was for one to come busting into her room at one o'clock in the morning because she had been yelling at the top of her lungs. "What more do you want? Do you think I enjoyed hitting you? No! But you were getting out of control. I _had_ to do it. You have to understand that."

Of course, he really didn't _have_ to understand that. If there was one thing she had learned about Rodney McKay, it was that he didn't _have_ to do anything. He generally did exactly what _he_ wanted to do no matter what everyone else was telling him. Which was one of the many things Elizabeth admired about the scientist, because of all his apparent flaws and insecurities, he was a very self-assured man who could trust in at least one thing. His own abilities.

Well… most of the time, anyway. One learned to overlook the occasional… er… slip up. It wasn't like he had blown up a solar system or anything. Yet.

Elizabeth shook her head. The bad thing about trying to talk to someone inside your head was that your thoughts tended to run away in some other direction, which she did not want to happen now. Right now she needed to focus on Rodney. At this point she didn't care what it was she focused on him—anger, sadness, guilt. She would do whatever she had to to get him talking to her again.

"Look, Rodney," she said, forcing a calming tone into her voice, "I really am sorry. I… hitting you was the last thing I wanted to do. But you wouldn't listen to me and… and I didn't know what else to do. I was getting frightened and… and… God, Rodney, won't you say _something_?"

As she had come to expect, she got only silence. And not only was his voice silent—once she had gotten her own emotions under control she had realized that she couldn't feel any of Rodney's. Which, if he was as upset as she thought he was, she should have been able to do pretty easily. It was as if he had entirely blocked her, sectioning himself off from her in some corner of her brain that she couldn't reach. Which had made her all the more upset—not exactly angry anymore. Just very… hurt. He had all but dropped his personal shield around her from day one—well, almost day one. In Antarctica, at any rate. He had never let it completely disintegrate, but it had never been so obvious when he was around her. She could practically see it when he was around other people, could almost see it shimmering like that Ancient personal shield he had played around with during their first few days in Atlantis. But when she was with him, or when he stood close, it nearly vanished. Elizabeth didn't know if it was simply because he was more comfortable around her or… he wanted to let her inside his defenses. That was a thought that had never really occurred to her before and she stopped her restless, angry pacing when it struck her.

Had that been the reason all along? Had it been because he felt not only more comfortable, but because he _wanted_ her to be close? Had she been ignoring it the entire time she had known him?

No. She hadn't. If she had been, she wouldn't have seen it. She wouldn't have even noticed the wall unless she knew it was gone around her. Which meant she had been looking for it. Which meant…

Elizabeth sat down heavily on the edge of her bed and stared blankly at some point on the wall.

It had been there all the time. For both of them. She just… what? Had gotten so used to it that she didn't notice anymore? No, that wasn't the case. Because the more she thought about it, the more it started to make sense. Her own behavior started to make sense: always sensing him before anyone else did, always tolerating him when no one else could, always wanting him around when no one else did. She could _feel_ him when he stood close enough, could feel the heat of him and she had always felt more balanced when he was around. It was if he had unintentionally acted as a prop for her, holding her up when she most needed to be held. He was always standing behind her, or beside her, balancing her and keeping her steady when she should have been sprawled on the floor with the weight of her responsibilities.

But, no. It hadn't been unintentional. He had known, hadn't he? He had known what he was doing for her. That was why he had always been there for her.

Why he had stepped in front of a gun for her.

Elizabeth covered her face with her hands. How could she have been so blind? How could she not have realized her own feelings? Or, more importantly, why had she buried them so deeply?

Elizabeth took a deep breath and wished desperately that Rodney would talk to her. She needed to talk to him… To tell him that she had been trying to push back what she had been feeling because she had been worried… afraid that she would destroy what they had so beautifully constructed. Theirs was a friendship that only came once in a lifetime, a friendship so deep and grounded that no words needed to be said. A simple touch or subtle glance was all that was needed to convey a lifetime of words and feelings. How love had gotten lost in the translation, Elizabeth would never know. Or rather… why they had both pushed it so deep, she would never know.

_Stop lying to yourself, Elizabeth!_ She berated herself. _You were scared! _He_ was scared. You were both too damned afraid to say anything and now… and now he's gone somewhere where you can't even touch him!_

Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself and let her hands drop into her lap.

Something needed to be done. She couldn't just let him hide like this. He needed to know how she felt. What he did after that was up to him, but she needed Rodney to know.

"Rodney." Elizabeth tried again, this time forcing all of her thoughts into that single word. She didn't know if he was ignoring her or if he really couldn't hear her anymore, wherever he had gone, but somehow she would _make_ him hear and _make_ him listen. "Rodney, will you please talk to me? Will you give me _something_?"

Still nothing. It was like trying to talk into a radio that had been switched off—no static or anything. She would have been a little less worried if she had been able to feel him—his anger or fear or sadness. She would have been perfectly happy with any of them at this point.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried again, once again forcing all of her strength into thought alone. She was beginning to get a headache.

"Rodney, will you answer me? I need to feel you. I need to hear you. Rodney, I need to know where you are." Elizabeth squeezed her eyes so tightly closed that tears leaked from the corners and her head was beginning to throb. "Talk to me, Rodney. Let me hear you. Let me feel you. Let me know that you are okay. You don't have to forgive me. You don't even have to like me anymore. Just… Rodney, please talk to me."

Okay, this was starting to get really difficult. Her head hurt so much at this point that it felt as if her skull was about to burst in half. Her stomach was beginning to churn and she had to double over to keep from throwing up. She knew she should have stopped, or at least should have gone to Carson or Heightmeyer or… someone. But she needed to do this _now_. Any time she wasted in getting help was time she let Rodney slip away from her. And suddenly she knew that he was slipping away from her. When he had given her body back he had done more than that—he had given everything back. He had vanished… somewhere. He had to still be in there, though, hiding. But if she didn't find him soon, he would disappear entirely and cease to be, or so she feared.

But as she concentrated more and more on trying to contact him, fear rapidly gave way to certainty. Every fiber of her being screamed at her that Rodney was in trouble. He was lost, hiding, afraid and hurt. He was miserable and trapped somewhere where he couldn't get out again. He needed her help and she needed him. Elizabeth had never once considered herself to be a hero or a soldier or anything other than a diplomat—a talker. But right now, for him, she would be everything she needed to be.

Elizabeth got to her feet and went to the small desk she had pushed against one wall. It was all but barren because whenever she needed to do paperwork she merely stayed in her office outside the control room. But there were a few sheets of paper and the odd pen here and there. And that was all she needed. She grabbed a pen that she knew had ink still in it and quickly scribbled a note. She read it over once and took a deep breath, trying to steady her heart. Swallowing against the knot in her throat, she clutched the paper in her hand and went back to the bed.

She lay down on her back in the center of the bed and stared up at the ceiling. The same part of her mind that told her Rodney was in trouble also told her that this was a very, very bad idea to attempt this alone. But she had no _time_. Rodney had no time. She was loosing him.

"Rodney, I want you to know, that if you can hear me, you are a total _ass_ for running away from me and making me do this." Elizabeth said dryly. She closed her eyes and smiled. "But I'm coming to find you. Just let me find you and I will forgive you forever."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Like most of the rooms in Atlantis, Elizabeth had situated her bed so that it was more or less directly across from the door on the far wall. All of the senior staff and most of the other inhabitants of the city did this so that if there was ever an emergency, all they had to do was leap across the floor and dash out into the hall way. No stumbling over furniture, no bumping into corners. A simple, straight B-line for the door.

When the five men and women entered the room, they saw Elizabeth lying directly across from them, motionless in her bed. Her body was rigid and the lines in her face seemed to have deepened, making her look tired and sick. Her face was covered in a sheen of sweat and the sheets around her had been drenched, as if she had been wracked with fever. And from where Carson stood, she didn't appear to be breathing.

"Hell, Elizabeth." Sheppard hissed as he crossed the room. He leaned over her still form and pressed his fingers against her throat. He stood there for several seconds before he looked up at the others, a grim look in his hazel eyes. "She's got a pulse, but it's weak."

Heightmeyer and Cadman didn't even have to be pushed aside. They had already parted to give Carson a clear path to Elizabeth's bed and he rushed to her side, placing his medical kit beside her on the bed and taking a good look at her.

She looked like hell. Her face was drawn and pale and her eyelids looked like they were sinking into her face. Her hair was tangled and damp from sweat and he could see the goose bumps on her skin, the drying perspiration chilling her. By all the looks of it she had a severe fever, but if she had been sick she would have called him. She would have _told_ him. She would have gotten help—especially when she was looking after Rodney as well as herself.

"Colonel Sheppard, Doctor Beckett."

Teyla's voice, always so calm and measured, cracked slightly as she called the two men. Sheppard, already at her side, looked over her shoulder and Carson was beside him in a flash, reading what appeared to be a note. It was written in Elizabeth's handwriting and Carson read it over a second and third time after Teyla handed it to him. With the words burned into his brain, he handed it numbly to Kate and Cadman.

_I've gone to find him. Help me._

"Oh, Elizabeth, what have you done?" Heightmeyer whispered as she handed the note to Cadman. Teyla and Beckett looked at her in surprise, while John's eyes remained fixed on Elizabeth.

"What _has_ she done?" Carson asked, confused and frightened by Kate's reaction.

Kate sighed and rubbed her forehead. She dropped her hand and looked at Elizabeth lying sick and pale on her bed.

"Rodney and Elizabeth share one mind. Forcing two fully formed consciousnesses and personalities into one brain is bound to cause problems, but more problems can arise if the dual personalities begin to fight over control of the body—as is apparently what happened in the lab. It's my fault that—"

"We've been over this, Doctor." Sheppard said shortly, his eyes still focused on Elizabeth. "It's no one's fault. You couldn't have known something like this would happen." He looked up at her, his eyes dark with worry and the closest thing to fear Carson had ever seen in Sheppard. "Just… tell us what's going on _now_."

Kate sighed.

"The exact opposite of what should have happened. Or rather, the exact opposite of what I would have expected to go wrong. Zelenka told you that there was apparently an argument between Elizabeth and Rodney, right?"

"Right." John nodded. "He told me she hit him… well, herself, I guess, but he had still been in control at the time. Mostly. He thinks."

Kate shook her head.

"I think he was still in control—at least over the speech-oriented part of the brain. Elizabeth must have gotten control of motor functions and hit him to get his attention. In any case, Rodney—who had been against the idea of sharing control of her body to begin with—probably realized that he had wronged her, that he had gone too far. He got scared, probably a little angry, and he gave up control. But apparently he gave up everything. He—he left."

"He _what_?" Carson shouted in surprise at the same time as Sheppard was asking, "left _where_?"

"One moment… how could Rodney _leave_ Dr. Weir?" Teyla asked slowly. "He is inside her mind. He has nowhere to go."

"On the contrary." Heightmeyer said. "He does have somewhere to go. As far as Elizabeth's brain is concerned, Rodney is a subconscious. Which means that there are parts of Elizabeth's mind that he can get into that she is unaware of. Sort of… sort of like a hidden tunnel underneath your house. You know about the house and you might even know about the tunnel, but you have no idea how to get to it. But your subconscious—which is sort of like… well, bad example, but sort of like a mouse living underneath your floorboards—knows how to navigate what you don't. It not only knows about the tunnel, but it also knows how to get into and through it. Well, Rodney must have found one of those tunnels, purposefully or accidentally, and hid there. He had relinquished all control, which means he might as well not even… exist any more. As far as I know… Rodney has disappeared."

The room went very still as the enormity of Heightmeyer's words sank in.

"You're telling us…" Sheppard suddenly looked almost as pale as Elizabeth, "that Rodney's _dead_?"

Heightmeyer shook her head again.

"I—I don't know. Frankly, I have never had to deal with anything like this before and certainly no one can prepare you for it." Kate sighed. "But… but this is the best I can come up with. This is all that makes sense, and even then it's but barely."

"That's not what I asked." Sheppard asked softly and Carson shivered at the dangerous tone in his voice. He was in no way threatening the woman, but Carson recognized the man's tone. He didn't want to be screwed with. He wanted answers, he wanted them now and he wanted them straight. "Is. Rodney. Dead?"

"I… I don't know." Kate said again. "I… I don't think so. But I think he's lost. Or at least Elizabeth seems to think so. Which is why she's gone to find him."

"What does that mean, "gone to find him"?" Cadman asked, speaking for the first time. "You mean she's gone to find him… in there?" she pointed to her own head. "In her head? How?"

Heightmeyer shook her head.

"This is way beyond me. I have no idea, truthfully, what is going on or what Elizabeth is doing. All I know is that we should probably move her to the infirmary so that we can keep an eye on her."

"Jus' what I was thinkin'." Carson said and tapped is radio. "This is Dr. Beckett. I need a medical team with a gurney at Dr. Weir's quarters immediately."

"So… what? We can't even do anything?" Sheppard asked. Carson looked at him, his blue eyes sad.

"I'm afraid all we can do right now is try to make her comfortable and wait. Whatever she is doing inside that head of hers, she is doin' on her own."

"Then why did she ask for help?" Sheppard shouted, snatching the note from Cadman and shoving it in Carson's face. "If we couldn't do anything, why would she ask us to try and do _something_?"

"How could I possibly know tha', Colonel?" Carson snapped back. "I'm a medical doctor, not a bloody mind-reader. If she can tell us what t' do, she will. Until then, we can't do anythin'. Understand, son?"

Sheppard glared at him, but nodded reluctantly.

"Yes." He said softly. Carson sighed and looked up at the team arrived with the stretcher. He motioned to Elizabeth.

"Help me move her. Gently!" when she had been moved to the stretcher, Carson leveled a sympathetic gaze at Sheppard. "At least we can keep an eye on her in the infirmary…"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It wasn't what she had expected. She assumed that this was supposed to be her subconscious, but she wondered why it brought her back _here_, of all places.

Elizabeth stepped out onto the wind-swept balcony. She shivered as the cold breeze swirled around her, teasing her hair and forcing her to pull her jacket closer to her body to keep out the cold spray coming off the sea. She looked around and shivered again, but not from the wind. She was at one of Atlantis's grounding stations, the one that had been damaged during the hurricane last year, and the memories she had of this place were not all together… pleasant.

Elizabeth grew increasingly more puzzled. She had always assumed that ones subconscious would be a place they had fond memories of, not a place that they feared. So why would her subconscious…?

"Because it's not yours."

Elizabeth jumped and whirled around, so her back was to the sea. Rodney stood in the doorway leading out onto the balcony, a powerbook in his hands. He wasn't wearing his jacket and Elizabeth shivered again—this time from the sight of Rodney in his blue undershirt and trousers. His short hair was slightly disheveled from the wind, but his eyes were bright and focused and he seemed completely unaffected by the cold.

"This is _my_ subconscious and what the hell are you doing here anyway?" he asked, his voice light and unconcerned as he passed her. He glanced at her once and Elizabeth paused. He didn't look frightened or hurt or angry. He looked… like he always did around her. Comfortable, laid back, unconcerned. It was as if everything that had happened had… never happened.

"I… uh, I came to find you, actually." Elizabeth said slowly. Rodney glanced back at her as he strode to the railing overlooking the ocean, his blue eyes puzzled.

"Hm." He grunted. "Something I can help you with?"

"No… well, yes. Rodney—what are you doing here? Why did you leave?"

Rodney, standing at the railing, glanced up from his powerbook and looked back at her.

"What do you mean? This is my subconscious. I can come here whenever I want." Rodney smiled and this time Elizabeth could see a faint trace of sadness there. "I thought you would have appreciated the quiet."

Elizabeth sighed. Okay, so obviously he remembered what had occurred earlier. Whether or not that was going to make bringing him back any easier… Elizabeth, still holding her jacket closed to keep out the wind, stepped down to Rodney's level of the grounding station, slowly crossing the balcony until she stood behind him, barely a foot separating the two of them. Rodney didn't turn around to face her and Elizabeth sighed, hugging her arms close to her body to keep warm and envying the fact that Rodney seemed unaffected.

"I don't like it when you're quiet, Rodney. Especially when it's because you ran away. From me."

Rodney flinched but didn't turn around. He continued to tap away at his powerbook.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He said calmly. Elizabeth heard the slight catch in his voice, though. He was lying to her.

"Rodney, I think you do." Elizabeth said softly. She sighed and rubbed her arms, glancing around the cold balcony. Deciding the direction she was taking wasn't working, she tried a different one. "Why here?"

"What do you mean?" Rodney asked, impatience creeping into his voice. He was still tapping furiously away at his powerbook.

"Why this?" Elizabeth opened her arms to take in the entire balcony and the seascape beyond. "Why do you come here? Why is _this_ your subconscious?"

Rodney didn't pause in his typing, nor did he answer her. Elizabeth sighed and moved to stand beside him. She saw him glance at her, but only for a moment, before his eyes were riveted once again on the screen in front of him. Elizabeth looked out at the ocean and shivered again.

"When I got here I thought this was my subconscious. And I was confused because I hated this place. I still hate this place. Ever since Koyla and the storm…" Elizabeth's voice broke briefly and she closed her eyes, trying to regain control over her emotions. "Well, I've tried to avoid this place as often as possible. Which makes me curious why you, of all people, would want to come back here?"

Rodney paused briefly and looked as if he was considering answering, before he shook his head and went back to whatever he was doing. Elizabeth's mouth tightened in irritation.

"Rodney," she used the tone on him that always brought his head up, "why are you here?"

Rodney made a sound that might have been a laugh, but it was cold and sad and had no sound of mirth in it at all. It was a sound Rodney made when he was uncomfortable, hurt… trying to hide. Was Elizabeth really making him that uncomfortable?

"You wouldn't understand." He said finally, his soft voice filled with pain and sadness.

Elizabeth folded her arms and turned to face Rodney directly.

"Try me."

Rodney looked up, his ocean-blue eyes reflecting surprise that she would care. Elizabeth felt a momentary pang of anger. Of course she would care! He was her chief scientist, yes, but he was her best friend before all of that and she cared. Of course, it was none of her business to be digging around in his subconscious, so if he decided not to answer…

His motionless fingers hovering over his powerbook, Rodney sighed and looked out at the ocean.

"This place helps me think." Rodney shook his head and looked down at the computer and began typing again. "When I can't think straight, I always come here to clear my thoughts. And when I'm stuck in my lab trying to think of some genius plan to save the city, _again_, I focus my thoughts on this place."

"It helps you think?" Elizabeth glanced around and raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes, really, and what are you still doing here anyway?" Rodney snapped irritably. Okay, not a very friendly Rodney but at least a Rodney she was more used to. Elizabeth could deal with this. But she had to be very careful. It wasn't her place to pry and she wouldn't risk what foothold she had on pushing too hard. Instead she decided to say nothing and simply looked back out on the ocean. More often than not, silence was the easiest way to get through to Rodney. He was rarely quiet himself unless he was seriously hurt and when others around him were still, Rodney always grew nervous. With Elizabeth he generally grew concerned. She needed him to be concerned. She needed him to care enough to keep talking to her. Without that link of conversation, he would drift away from her and Elizabeth would be left without a way to bring him back to her. And she was not about to loose her best friend because he was afraid to talk to her. She needed him to stick around until Zelenka and the others could figure this thing out, get him back into his body and put everything back into its rightful place. Everything could be normal again.

Well, close to normal, at any rate. With Rodney nothing was ever really _normal_.

The wind picked up and Elizabeth shivered again, tugging her jacket closer.

"You should go back." Rodney said absently, his earlier impatience gone from his voice. Elizabeth realized he had noticed her shivering and she felt warmed by his concern—which was exactly what she had been hoping for.

"And what about you?" she asked.

"I'm staying here." He told her sharply. "Out of your way and out of your head."

Elizabeth frowned.

"Rodney…"

"Don't bother, Elizabeth." Rodney said sharply. "You made it quite clear what you thought of me. So I'll stay here, working, and you can go back to your life."

"And—what? You'll just _disappear_?" Elizabeth asked angrily. Rodney glanced up at her briefly, his expression unreadable, before averting his gaze again.

"It's better that way."

"How can you think that?" Elizabeth cried. Rodney shook his head. Elizabeth was loosing her temper. "Dammit, Rodney, I don't want you to just _disappear_. I want you to stay. _Here_. With me."

Rodney looked up at her in surprise and Elizabeth's heart almost shattered when she saw the look in his eyes. There was surprise, yes, but there was also hope, longing, fear, uncertainty… Rodney's eyes were always so full of emotion, but she seemed to be the only one who ever noticed.

It struck her then, that that was why she had been able to feel his emotions and he hear her thoughts. It had been natural. She could already read him better than anyone else, and he always knew what she was going to say before she even had time to form it into a coherent thought. They knew each other, felt each other, heard each other on a different level than anyone else. It was as if they were linked; by friendship, by something else, it didn't matter. The fact remained the same that if Elizabeth lost Rodney, she would be loosing part of herself as well. She needed him to understand that…

"Elizabeth…" Rodney's voice cracked and he quickly looked down at his powerbook so he wouldn't have to meet her eyes. He shook his head. "Never mind. It's for the best. Sooner or later Zelenka or one of them will figure this out and then they can fix it. But, until then, I can't stay here. I need to stay… well, here. I meant here as in there which is you, and here is… here. This place. I need to stay—"

Elizabeth stepped forward until she was almost touching Rodney and she reached around to cup his face in her hands. He froze at her touch and she could easily lift his face and turn his eyes to face hers. The blue orbs were huge with fear and doubt, but Elizabeth could still see the hope there, and the longing, and he looked as if he would pass out at any moment. Elizabeth smiled, reading him as if she were turning the pages of her book, and leaned forward so that their faces were nearly touching.

"I don't want you to stay here, Rodney." She whispered, though her voice held the hint of a command. "Not while you're still in _my_ head."

Rodney swallowed and he trembled slightly. Elizabeth smiled again and rested her forehead against his, looking into his deep blue eyes.

"As long as you are in here with me, Rodney, you are going to stay with _me_." She said, her voice so quiet she could barely hear herself speaking over the sound of the wind and ocean. "Because I like it when you talk to me."

"But… but…" Rodney spluttered and he looked down at his feet, his voice almost inaudible. "But you hit me."

Elizabeth's first reaction was to pull away and storm off in exasperation. But she wouldn't do that to him. He needed her to be here, to be touching him and holding him and talking to him. He was scared and hurt and she needed to comfort and heal him. And she would do that.

"Did you hear anything I said before I found you?" Elizabeth asked sadly, trying to catch his blue-eyed gaze with hers of green. Rodney shook his head slowly, his forehead still pressed against Elizabeth's because her hands would not let him pull away. Strangely, though, she hadn't even felt him try. Elizabeth sighed and stroked the side of his face with her thumb, feeling him shiver slightly at the touch. She closed her eyes and leaned closer to him.

"I was scared, Rodney. I was loosing control and… I didn't know what else to do. You wouldn't listen to me and… I don't even know if saying sorry is good enough any more." Elizabeth felt hot tears welling beneath her eyelids and she willed them not to fall. "I didn't want to hurt you, but I did. I didn't want to frighten you away, but I did. I just wanted you to stop yelling… and you did. Oh, Rodney, I am so sorry."

Elizabeth felt Rodney move, to try and pull away, but her gentle hands kept him firmly where he was. She opened her eyes just in time to meet his, his beautiful blue gaze filling her sight so that she saw nothing but an ocean of Rodney.

"Elizabeth…" he whispered, his voice full of emotion. "I… I… I don't know what to do."

Rodney's voice nearly broke Elizabeth's heart all over again. If there was one thing Rodney could always rely on, it was himself. Elizabeth couldn't even imagine how terrified he had been when he had realized that he, the resident genius that everyone turned to to save the day in the eleventh hour, couldn't figure this out. For once his genius had momentarily failed him, leaving him at the time of his most desperate need. How frightened was he knowing that he couldn't help himself? That he couldn't help her?

No wonder he had been so irritable and uncomfortable. And no wonder he had wanted so desperately to stay in the lab. He wanted to help. He wanted to know that he could do _something_.

"You'll figure this out, Rodney." She whispered. "And I'll help you. But you have to come back. We need to do this together."

"I don't want to hurt you…" Rodney whispered. Elizabeth swallowed passed the lump in her throat.

"You won't."

"How can you be so—"

"Because I _know_ you, Rodney McKay." Elizabeth said sharply. "And because I trust you. More than anyone else. And if anyone can take care of me and keep me safe, it's you. I _trust_ you."

Rodney swallowed and raised his eyes to look at her.

"Do you know why I come here?" he asked her softly. Elizabeth frowned. He had already told her this, hadn't he?

"Because it helps you think?" she asked slowly. He smiled and closed his eyes, nodding slowly.

"Yes, that. But there's a reason…" Rodney took a deep breath and looked at her again. "Last year, when Koyla stormed the city, I was certain I was going to loose you. He threatened you—that knife thing he did to me wasn't what got me to spill."

"Your nightmares." Elizabeth breathed. "You said he threatened people you knew…"

Rodney snorted, his breath warm on Elizabeth's face.

"He tried threatening Sheppard, but I told him that the damned major—colonel… whatever—had more lives than my cat and the likelihood of any of his retard cavemen actually catching him long enough to do any of the things he promised to do was extremely slim. Koyla wasn't very happy when that one didn't work and he punched me for it."

Elizabeth frowned.

"He hurt you again? I thought it was just the knife…"

"I told Carson not to tell you. In any case, nothing actually broke. Just a nice bruise. Nothing like that scar…" Rodney sighed and frowned. "In any case, that's not the point. Look, I'm trying to tell you something here. Just… listen, okay?"

Elizabeth smiled and nodded. Rodney hadn't tried to pull away again and he seemed perfectly content to continue on the way they had been, resting their foreheads together, even as he waved his hands wildly in the air surrounding their heads. It was also nice to know that Rodney wasn't so uncomfortable that he had forgotten how to snap.

Rodney took a deep breath.

"In any case, Koyla wasn't a stupid man—unfortunately. He knew I had a weak spot and so far, cutting me and punching me hadn't revealed it. Guess I surprised him there. But then he surprised me because… well, he decided he would torture someone a little more close to home. He threatened you. He told me that if I did not tell him what he wanted to know, that he would… do things to you. Horrible things." Rodney's face twisted and Elizabeth could see the sick hatred burning in his eyes. "I wanted to kill him. I wanted to… so I told him. I wasn't about to let him _touch_ you, so I told him."

"And you stepped in front of a gun for me." Elizabeth whispered. Rodney didn't move. He didn't nod or shake his head… even his hands went completely still.

"I don't even remember doing it." He said quietly. "I just… did it." Rodney shook his head impatiently and his hands started moving again. "Anyway, that's beside the point."

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile.

"You had a point?"

"Yes, I had a—oh, you're funny." Rodney rolled his eyes. "Sure. Tease the man showing you his bleeding heart and all that."

Elizabeth laughed softly and ran her fingers through Rodney's short hair. She felt him shiver and she pulled him closer.

"Then tell me." She whispered. Rodney gulped, momentarily at a loss for words. He wasn't really thinking that straight with Elizabeth's hands in his hair, moving and soothing and…

"I… uh… point. Right. Um…"

"Balcony." Elizabeth supplied helpfully.

"Oh! Right! Yes, that was it." Rodney nodded triumphantly and tried his best to think something that didn't have to deal with how good Elizabeth's fingers felt… He swallowed again. "Er… balcony. When we were… uh… okay, look, can you stop that for a minute? Not that I don't like it, it's just I _really_ want to say this and it's _really_ hard to say _anything_ when you're… oh."

Elizabeth had removed her hands, settling them back against Rodney's face, and he was mildly disappointed that she had actually done it. It really had felt quite good. But at least now he could say what he had been trying to say.

"When we were out here, in the rain, it was like everything suddenly made sense. Everything was clear and I suddenly… _knew_." Rodney's eyes lit up and he smiled sort of drunkenly. "And that's why I come here. Because it was here that I was…" he waved his hands as he searched for the word. "Well, _enlightened_, I guess. This is where I knew."

"Knew what?" Elizabeth asked. She thought she already had the answer, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"That I loved you." He said quietly. "I had wanted to tell you at the grounding station. I had wanted to say… well, I don't exactly know what I was going to say and it was probably not as corny sounding as "I love you", but it was good at the time and seemed appropriate and it had something to do with that statement, but—"

Rodney was forced to stop talking when Elizabeth's lips covered his, cutting off any words he had been trying to stutter out. His eyes flew wide and he was still staring when Elizabeth smiled and pulled back so she could look at him.

"'I love you' suits me just fine, Rodney McKay." She said quietly. "Because I love you, too. Corny as it may be."

"Oh." Rodney breathed. "When you say it, it doesn't sound that corny."

Elizabeth laughed and leaned forward, her lips brushing his.

"Good. Because I'll be saying it when I wake up again."

Rodney grinned and opened his mouth to speak. But then a thought flashed across his mind and he looked at Elizabeth in horror.

"Wait… you're asleep?"

Elizabeth nodded, frowning in concern. What…?

"How long have you been asleep?" he asked sharply. Elizabeth shook her head.

"I don't know. A few hours. You know how time is when you're dreaming—it's all relative."

"That's the point!" Rodney shouted in alarm. "You could have already been out for days. Oh, this isn't good."

"What? Why not?"

"It's like that time when we were knocked out by those…" Rodney waved his hands. "Those mist people thingies. If they hadn't woken us up, we would have _died_."

"Oh." Elizabeth breathed as realization struck her. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh is right. We've got to wake you up. Now."

Elizabeth nodded and closed her eyes. When she opened them again… she was still staring at Rodney.

"Oh, no."

"Oh, no _what_?" Rodney snapped.

"I don't think I can." She said. "I was so busy trying to find you… I don't know how to get back."

Rodney sighed and nodded.

"I was afraid of that. You're in my mind, which means I'm going to have to get you out of here. I think I can do that, but it means that I'll be in control when you wake up."

Elizabeth smiled and nodded.

"I can deal with that." She said tensely. Rodney grinned and took her hand.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure you won't have to hit me again."

"To be honest, Rodney, I hit myself."

Rodney rolled his eyes.

"Semantics." He grumbled as he pulled her away from the balcony and back into the city.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Rodney held Elizabeth's hand in a tight, comforting grip as he led her through the tunnels and passages of his mind. Or was it her mind? Every now and then she would glimpse something out of the corner of her eye that seemed strangely familiar, but then they were passed it and she couldn't be sure she had seen anything at all.

"Where are we?" Elizabeth asked finally.

"It's… complicated." Rodney said. Elizabeth almost laughed when he proceeded to tell her anyway. "It seems our minds have become… er, slightly entangled so in some places you can't see where one of us ends and the other begins. So it's like a maze, but I've had time to look around. I know my way around your head better than you do." He grinned back at her smugly and Elizabeth couldn't help but smile in return.

"But it's only been a few hours!" she responded breathlessly. Then she shook her head. "Relativity. Right. Never mind. But… why does everything look like Atlantis? I mean, I definitely recognize that corridor."

Rodney shrugged.

"It's the place you and I know best—at least, in the last year or so. I bet if we could see Zelenka and Sheppard's minds, they would look the same. Carson's probably in Scotland somewhere, but he would be—"

"Focus." Elizabeth barked reflexively. Rodney flashed a lopsided smile over his shoulder.

"Sorry."

"Okay, so we're in… our minds. Where are you taking us?"

"To the 'Gate." Rodney said without hesitation. "Heightmeyer'd be better at explaining this, but—"

"It's a symbol of travel." Elizabeth said. "A… well, a gateway. I understand."

Rodney nodded absently and they continued to run through the empty halls of Atlantis.

Sheppard paced back and forth in the infirmary. Teyla stood quietly nearby and Ronan was stretched out on a nearby bed. Carson hovered over Elizabeth, checking her pulse. Sheppard was just passing him for what felt like the billionth time when he saw the Scot frown slightly. Sheppard froze instantly and whirled around to face the man.

"What?" he snapped. "What happened?"

"I lost count." Beckett responded, glancing at his watch. He looked up at Sheppard. "Would ye stop ye're pacin', man? I cannot concentrate wi' ye bobbin' back 'n forth like tha'."

"Sorry, Doc. It's just sort of hard to stand still right now." Sheppard said, glancing at Elizabeth's pale face.

"I understand, son. But if ye don' calm down, I'm goin' t' have t' ask ye t' step outside."

Sheppard immediately sat down on the edge of the bed Ronan was currently occupying. Carson nodded and turned back to Elizabeth.

"Thank ye." He said.

"Sure." Sheppard sighed. "I'm not going anywhere."

Rodney led Elizabeth into the 'Gate room, still holding her hand. He had been trying to ignore it, but her skin had slowly been becoming increasingly clammy and cold, as if she were coming down with the flu. She hadn't said anything about not feeling good, though, and they were essentially not supposed to feel anything, really. They were figments of their imagination—they were imagination. They were… well, Rodney was a scientist, not some voodoo doctor who cared that much about the brain unless it was his. Or Elizabeth's. He'd die to save Elizabeth's.

"Okay," Rodney pulled Elizabeth up the three or four steps leading into the room and stopped, turning to face her. "I've got to go dial the 'Gate. Don't leave without me."

"I won't." Elizabeth said softly. She was beginning to feel a little lightheaded and cold, as if she were coming down with a fever. She had never said anything, but Rodney had noticed. She was certain. He touched a hand to her face, one of the gentlest motions she had ever seen him make.

"Hey," he murmured quietly, "are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." Elizabeth murmured. "Just… hurry, Rodney. I think I'm running out of time."

Rodney paled and he nodded. He pulled her close to him and planted a brisk kiss on her forehead before he released her and ran up the flight of steps leading into the abandoned control room.

Elizabeth watched him as he ran to the DHD. She thought it odd that she had come here to save him, and now he was trying to save her. It pained her to know that it was her fault that he would fail. She only hoped that he could still somehow save himself.

Elizabeth felt the world staring to spin around her, saw her vision growing dim and hazy. She knew her body was dying and there was nothing she could do. So she stood rooted in place, watching the 'Gate symbols lock into place and heard the muffled roar of the wormhole forming.

And that was the last thing that Elizabeth knew before the floor leapt up to meet her and she collapsed into senselessness. She had just enough time to realize that it was really weird that she should be falling unconscious when she technically already was.

Sheppard didn't remember falling asleep. He did remember Ronan kicking him in the back until he moved to a different bed and he remembered lying down and closing his eyes. He must have fallen asleep, though, because the next thing he knew there was a shrill beeping and people running around and shouting. He slowly sat up and saw Teyla and Ronan staring towards Elizabeth's bed and John felt his heart stop as he realized his worst fears.

Elizabeth, once so still on her bed, had begun to seize. Her head snapped back and her pale features twisted as her body convulsed on the bed. Carson was holding down one of her arms as he tried to inject her with something, but he was having trouble as the unconscious woman kept thrashing out of his grasp.

"Goddammit." Sheppard hissed as he leapt to his feet. "What the hell…?"

"We do not know." Teyla said softly as Ronan stood beside her, grinding his teeth in helpless frustration. "She simply began to convulse."

"Dammit." Sheppard swore again.

"Beckett says there's nothing we can do but stay out of his way." Ronan growled. Sheppard, unwilling to do it but knowing there were no options left to him, nodded.

"It's all up to Beckett now."

"No." Heightmeyer said and Sheppard nearly leapt out of his skin when she stepped up behind him. He had totally forgotten she was there. He looked back at her and frowned.

"What do you mean, "no""? he asked. Heightmeyer sighed.

"it's not up to Carson anymore. It's up to Elizabeth and Rodney. We can't do anything anymore."

Ronan growled, a savage sound deep in his throat.

"We can't just stand here and watch her die."

"We will not watch her die, Ronan." Teyla said forcefully. "We will watch her live."

"I sure hope you're right, Teyla." Sheppard growled as the four of them watched Elizabeth fight a loosing battle.

Rodney watched the 'Gate activate and he grinned triumphantly. He was just turning away from the DHD when a thought struck him and he whirled to look at the 'Gate again. His eyes flew wide and he almost leapt up and down in excitement. He instead settled for slapping his palm against his forehead.

"The 'Gate, of course! Ah, you idiot, McKay, you are a genius!"

Ignoring his contradictory statement about himself, Rodney hurried down the steps to join Elizabeth, talking the entire way down to the bottom.

"Elizabeth! I've got it! I've figured out how to fix this! Of course, it doesn't surprise me that Zelenka or any of his cronies didn't figure it out, but now that I have it all we have to do is get you through—Elizabeth!"

Rodney's heart stopped as he reached the bottom of the stairs and found Elizabeth lying unconscious on the floor, pale and sweating. Rodney swore under his breath and knelt beside her, pressing a hand to her throat. Well, he could barely feel it, but there was a pulse. At least she was alive.

Rodney glared down at Elizabeth's still form as he struggled to lift her into his arms so that her legs were draped over one arm, her shoulders against his other and her shoulder lying still and heavy on his shoulder. He shook his head as he staggered for the 'Gate.

"How do you manage to fall unconscious when you're already unconscious?" Rodney growled. He looked down at her still, sweating face and the hardness around his mouth softened. "And you say _I'm_ difficult."

Rodney sighed and, holding Elizabeth close, he hurried through the 'Gate and was lost in the brilliant flash of instant transport.

Sheppard felt his heart miss a beat when Elizabeth's body suddenly stopped thrashing and fell limp and heavy onto the bed. Even Carson hesitated, unsure of what was happening. But he was still for only a moment before he took Elizabeth's arm and prepared to jab a needle of… something into her veins.

"Don't you dare stick that thing in my arm!"

Everyone—nurses, doctors, colonels, aliens and Scots—yelped in surprise and leapt back in alarm as Elizabeth's green eyes glared up at Carson.

"You can put the damn thing down now, Carson, she's awake. Stop threatening me with your damned voodoo magic."

Carson, his mouth hanging open in shock, frowned and slammed the needle down on a tray next to the bed.

"Maybe if ye would stop convulsin' I wouldn't have t' stick ye in th' arm, Rodney!" he shouted. Elizabeth glared back at him.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked.

"Because Elizabeth's not so bloody rude!" the Scot snapped back. "An' where is she, anyway? Is she alright?"

"I'm here, Carson." Elizabeth said, her voice suddenly softer and more normal then when Rodney had been using it. Sheppard blinked in surprise.

"Elizabeth?" he asked slowly, stepping forward. "Rodney?"

"Yes, yes, Sheppard, we're both here." Rodney snapped irritably through Elizabeth's voice. He looked up and Elizabeth's face lit up in a brilliant grin. "And where's that blockhead, Zelenka?"

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly and Sheppard blinked in confusion because it definitely looked like Elizabeth was talking to herself. But it didn't matter so long as she was alive.

He hoped.

"Why do ye need Zelenka, son?" Carson asked, seemingly perfectly content with talking to Elizabeth and calling her "son".

"Because." Elizabeth/Rodney grinned and tapped her forehead. "I've figured out how to get me out of here."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"I thought of it when I was dialing the 'Gate." McKay explained through Elizabeth's voice. Sheppard frowned.

"How did you dial the 'Gate? You don't even have your own _hands_." He pointed out. Elizabeth/Rodney rolled her eyes.

"Yes, thank you, Colonel. I had quite forgotten that detail. I appreciate you reminding me." Elizabeth said dryly. A moment later, she sighed and her expression softened.

"Sorry, John. Rodney's getting a little ahead of himself." She said quietly. "I was trapped in our subconscious which resembled Atlantis so Rodney had to dial the 'Gate to get us home."

Sheppard nodded.

"Okay…" he said slowly. "What Rodney said made more sense."

Elizabeth's mouth quirked in a purely Elizabeth smile and she crossed her arms.

"He usually does, Colonel." She said, raising an eyebrow. A moment later, her face shifted into a very Rodney-esk scowl.

"Can we stop talking about me like I'm not here?" he demanded through Elizabeth's lips. "I mean, hello, you're looking right at me!"

Elizabeth's face shifted again.

"No, Rodney, they're looking at me." She said, smiling.

"This is making me dizzy." Ronan grunted, standing behind Sheppard with his arms crossed and his usual scowl set upon his face. Teyla, standing beside Sheppard next to Weir's beside, smiled and John nodded his agreement.

"I was just about to say the same thing." He said, a bewildered look on his face. Kate and Laura, standing nearby, looked equally perplexed. Only Carson and Teyla seemed unaffected by the schizophrenic doctor. Teyla only smiled and Carson was simply grinning from ear to ear. The relief of having had both his patients still alive hadn't quiet worn off yet, despite Rodney yelling at him like he was an ignoramus. He knew the man only did it because he had been scared. Carson couldn't really blame him.

Elizabeth smiled—John could tell it was her because her face was much softer than Rodney's when she smiled—and she shook her head, uncrossing her arms and smoothing the sheets covering her legs.

"I expect it is a little… odd. But it was the only way we could assure we both survived. We were afraid that if one of us relinquished complete control, they would vanish."

"And Elizabeth's not going anywhere." Rodney said, Elizabeth scowling and crossing her arms. Not a second later, her face softened again and a distracted smile lit her face.

"Neither are you, Rodney."

An uncomfortable silence settled upon the infirmary as everyone present felt they were witnessing some personal conversation between the two of them. They also felt as if they had missed some part of the story and that certainly didn't help things any.

Carson cleared his throat.

"Aye, Rodney, ye were sayin' about th' 'Gate?" he said. Elizabeth's green eyes snapped and her head whipped around to glare up at him.

"What?" she blinked. "Oh! Right, my brilliant plan. Where is Zelenka, he needs to hear this so I can tell him that he was wrong—"

"Rodney," Elizabeth interrupted, her voice shifting again, "how could he be wrong when you only just figured it out?"

"Hmph." Rodney snorted, crossing Elizabeth's arms. "That's beside the point."

Sheppard grinned and slapped Elizabeth on the shoulder.

"That's our Rodney." He grinned, then quickly pulled his hand away. "Oh. Sorry, Dr. Weir."

Elizabeth laughed softly.

"No need to apologize, John."

"Oh, because hitting me is okay." Rodney grumbled.

"I wasn't hitting you, Rodney." Sheppard pointed out.

"Then why did you apologize to Elizabeth?" Rodney snapped, Elizabeth's jaw jutting out. A moment later Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hand.

"Rodney." She said warningly. Her green eyes flashed and her mouth tightened.

"Hmph." Rodney snorted. "Now, what was I talking about?"

Sheppard's lips quirked.

"Your brilliant plan." He said dryly, crossing his arms. "We have yet to hear it."

"Well, I assure you, _Colonel_, I have one." Rodney glared up at him. "Now where the hell is Zelenka? He should have been here ten minutes ago."

"Not if no one called him." Laura pointed out and Elizabeth/Rodney started, having forgotten that she and Kate were even there.

"What? Why didn't anyone call him down here? I need to talk to him now." Rodney/Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Forget it. I'll just go down to the lab myself."

Elizabeth started to shove back the sheets and swing her legs out over the side of the bed when Carson grabbed her shoulders and shoved her back into bed.

"Ah, no ye don't, lad." Carson said sternly. "Ye jus' had a seizure a moment ago, or have ye forgotten tha'? I don't need ye runnin' through the halls and collapsin' on top of everythin' else."

"Oh, like I really want to be collapsing in a hospital gown in the middle of Atlantis." Rodney snapped.

"Don't forget, Rodney, that it wouldn't be you collapsing anywhere." Elizabeth pointed out. "Would you really leave me in such a compromising situation?"

Elizabeth's face flushed with heat and Rodney stumbled over his response.

"Er… no. No, that's not what I… um, I don't want… er, why isn't Zelenka here yet?" Rodney demanded, Elizabeth's face flushing a brilliant shade of crimson.

Sheppard grinned, somehow comforted by Rodney's fumbling attempt at a correction of his earlier statement. He tapped his earpiece.

"Zelenka, this is Sheppard."

"Colonel?" Zelenka's voice sounded over the radio, puzzled that it was the flyboy pilot that was interrupting him, of all people. "What can I do for you?"

"Rodney would like to see you in the infirmary." Sheppard said, grinning broadly at Rodney. Elizabeth snapped her fingers at him.

"Tell him to bring my laptop!" he shouted.

"Why is Elizabeth yelling at you?" Zelenka asked. Then he sighed. "Oh. Right. Stupid question. I'll be right down."

"And don't forget my laptop!" Rodney shouted.

"Okay, Zelenka's here. Now tell us your _brilliant_ plan." Sheppard waved his hands into the air to emphasize the word "brilliant".

"Don't sound so condescending, Sheppard." Rodney snapped shortly. "It is brilliant and you know it."

"We all know it." Elizabeth said, sighing heavily. "Now tell us, please. _I_ don't even know."

"You didn't even tell Elizabeth?" Sheppard looked at her in surprise. "How is that even possible? Your in her—"

"John." Elizabeth said shortly. "Please."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

Elizabeth sighed.

"Go ahead, Rodney." She said.

"Thank you." Rodney said. A moment later her green eyes lit up and she sat a little straighter in bed. Her hands took on Rodney's motions, flashing through the air and pointing to emphasize a point that so far only he could understand. "What's the one thing that has kept us from rematerializing my body?"

"Power." Sheppard said.

"A functioning memory buffer." Zelenka said. Rodney grinned and pointed.

"No." he said excitedly.

"Can't you just tell us, Rodney?" Laura asked in exasperation. Rodney glared at her.

"I'm making a point."

"Make it faster." Ronan growled. Elizabeth frowned at him.

"Easy there, Conan." He snapped irritably. Elizabeth smiled. Rodney never liked being interrupted, especially by the man that made him rather uneasy. Elizabeth's brow wrinkled. "He doesn't make me uneasy."

Eyebrows raised in surprise as Elizabeth grinned and turned bright red at the same time.

"He can still hear your thoughts, huh?" Sheppard asked, grinning from ear to ear. Behind him, Ronan bared his teeth in a wide grin.

"How perceptive of you, Colonel." Rodney snapped. "And, thank you very much, I have completely lost my train of thought."

"Oh, way to go, Elizabeth." Sheppard said in mock exasperation, throwing his arms into the air. "Now we'll be here for hours."

"Ha, ha." Rodney grumbled. "Very funny."

"Continue, Rodney." Teyla said, a little more sharply than she may have intended. Sheppard raised and eyebrow at her and she smiled innocently back at him. Apparently even the calm-toned Athosian was loosing patience with her teammate.

"Hmph." Rodney grumbled, clearly upset that his brilliant plan had gone to waste on such impatience.

"It's okay, Rodney." Elizabeth thought silently, knowing that he would hear her even though no one else would. "They're just excited. Now what is your brilliant plan?"

Rodney shivered when he heard her say—think—"brilliant". He had never heard her use that tone with him and he liked it. It made him feel warm, excited. Very excited. Suddenly he was very happy he was in a woman's body.

"Rodney." Elizabeth giggled silently inside her head. He felt her face flush when he realized she could feel his emotions. "How sweet."

Yeah. Sweet.

Rodney coughed out loud and he noticed Sheppard's raised eyebrows. He could feel Elizabeth's face burning with his blush and he knew Sheppard was probably wondering what the hell they were discussing so quietly amongst themselves.

"Look," Rodney spoke quickly to cover his embarrassment, "I think we can use the control crystal in the DHD to rematerialize my body from the Wraith memory buffer."

He got only silence. Rodney was mildly relieved when his embarrassment instantly transformed into annoyance. He made an exaggerated motion of rolling Elizabeth's eyes.

"The Stargate is meant to store living tissue as information in its memory so that it rematerializes instantly on the other side. I think it's the same thing for the Wraith darts. So…" Rodney frowned. "Hmph. I guess you were both right. The Stargate's DHD should give us enough power to wake up the buffer and finish the rematerilization of my body."

He glared up at Zelenka and the Czech glared back.

"Do not try to blame this on me again." Zelenka snapped shortly. "Did I not say that if it had not been for me—"

"Gentlemen." Elizabeth said shortly. "Let's not start this again. Rodney, are you sure this will work."

"I have no doubt." Rodney said confidently, crossing Elizabeth's arms. "But you're going to need me to get it to work. Nobody knows the DHD better than I do."

Elizabeth's lips quirked.

"Eager to get down and dirty again, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked lightly.

"Actually, I'm getting you down and dirty." Rodney pointed out calmly. A moment later Elizabeth's eyes flew wide as Rodney suddenly realized what he had just said. "Oh, God, that's not what I—um. I meant that because, uh, well, you know since I'm—dammit, Sheppard, would you stop laughing?"

Sheppard was doubled over beside the hospital bed, tears streaming down his face as he roared with laughter. Behind him, Ronan was grinning broadly—as close to laughter as he would ever get—and Teyla was looking as bland as ever. Well, at least Rodney could be grateful that at least one alien didn't understand the phrasing. Unfortunately, Laura and Kate were also laughing—though they were being a little more discrete about it—while Carson and Radek merely rolled their eyes and sighed.

Sheppard grabbed the side of Rodney's bed and grinned at him, his face red from breathless laughter.

"No promises." He snorted. Rodney glared at him through Elizabeth's green eyes.

"I hate you sometimes." He growled through Elizabeth's clenched teeth. John grinned and choked back his laughter.

"I know." He grinned, his face almost as red as Elizabeth's. "But I'm okay with that. Just no getting down and dirty."

Laura snorted loudly and Rodney glared daggers at the Colonel.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." He hissed through Elizabeth's lips. Suddenly the glare cleared from Rodney's face and Elizabeth grinned broadly.

"Oh, Rodney, it's okay. I enjoy it when you get me down and dirty."

Just as she knew it would, her remark stopped all the laughter in the infirmary. John's eyes were so wide she thought for certain they would pop out of his head, Ronan's smile had disappeared and Carson and Zelenka were blushing from collar to hairline. Teyla, Laura and Kate, though, were grinning at Elizabeth with a knowing smile.

"Elizabeth." Rodney said slowly and quietly and blushing from her collar to the hairline. "I don't think that helped."

"Maybe… we should try to fix the dart, yes?" Zelenka asked slowly, his blush still tinting his face. Rodney/Elizabeth cleared her throat.

"Um. Yes. Yes, very good idea." Rodney nodded and started to push himself out of the bed. A moment later he blushed again and he looked at the people surrounding him. "Can someone get me some pants?"

Rodney stood in Elizabeth's body, scowling at the piece of downed wreckage that was the Wraith dart. Elizabeth was dressed in her gown and wrapped in a plain robe, Rodney having stumbled over his explanation that he didn't have time for pants but needed to get to the lab as soon as possible.

Sheppard had been laughing most of the way.

The other scientists working on the dart continued to throw her uncertain looks, as if they were confused as to why the leader of their city was standing in their lab wearing nothing but a hospital gown and robe. Apparently not everyone had been informed of Rodney and Elizabeth's situation, even after so many days. Rodney, though, continued to ignore them as he worked beside Zelenka in order to hook the DHD control crystal up to the Wraith dart, muttering under his breath the entire time. Every now and then Elizabeth would interrupt—usually to keep Rodney from biting someone's head off—but for the most part she kept quiet. At least she kept quiet from what the others could hear. Rodney, though, could still hear her thoughts and for the most part that was all that was keeping him sane as he tried hooking the fragile crystal up to the Wraith technology.

Finally, though, after hours of trial and error.

"Ah, ha!" Zelenka cried in triumph as he presented Rodney with a pair of very live and very whole mice. Rodney nodded wearily.

"Good." He said, sounding tired. "Let's get this over with."

Carson, who had been present to keep an eye on Elizabeth/Rodney, frowned at the scientist.

"Don' ye wan' t' test it a second time, Rodney? T' be certain it's safe?" he asked uncertainly.

Rodney glared at the doctor, but it was Elizabeth who answered him.

"I don't think we have time for that, Carson." She said softly. "Even sharing control, it's still difficult to concentrate. I know Rodney's been feeling it, too. A weakness. It feels like I've been up for days without sleep…"

Rodney grunted. He knew the feeling.

Carson frowned.

"Why didn't ye tell someone?" he demanded. Elizabeth smiled sheepishly.

"I did." She said and her soft features transformed into Rodney's nearly permanent scowl.

"She told me." He said irritably. Carson sighed.

"We had better hurry, then." Zelenka said, studying Elizabeth worriedly. "If we do not have much time…"

"Yes, yes." Rodney waved Elizabeth's hand. "Did I not just say that?"

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said soothingly. Rodney nodded.

"Zelenka, get it ready." He said. As Zelenka began fiddling with the dart to power it up, Rodney sighed and stepped in its line of fire. Elizabeth closed her eyes as they listened to the machine powering up.

"Ready?" Zelenka asked. Elizabeth nodded.

"Wait!" Rodney cried suddenly, Elizabeth's eyes flying open. "Not yet."

"Rodney—" Elizabeth frowned.

"Elizabeth," Rodney began quietly, trying to ignore the many people filling the room, "before we fix this… I wanted to share something. With you."

Elizabeth frowned.

"What…?"

Rodney sighed and closed Elizabeth's eyes. Suddenly she was flooded with a wave of warmth, like being wrapped in a warm towel after a cold shower. It filled her and gave her the sensation of flying and floating, buoyed by an emotion so deep and powerful she could feel her hair standing on end.

A moment later it was gone and Elizabeth felt tears filling her eyes. She sighed a shuddering breath and smiled.

"Rodney…" she breathed.

"That's how I felt." Rodney said quietly, Elizabeth's voice barely a whisper. "On the balcony. When I was holding you in the rain. That's why I go there."

Elizabeth smiled and Rodney nodded to Zelenka.

"Turn it on."

Inside her head, Elizabeth felt Rodney's mind brush hers, as if he were reaching for her hand. She smiled and reached back before everything disappeared in a brilliant flash of white light.

The light disappeared and Sheppard blinked in surprise. Where there had been only Weir in a robe, now there was Rodney, too, still in his off-world gear, looking extremely pissed off.

"Rodney?" Carson asked slowly. "Elizabeth?"

Rodney blinked, his expression becoming more subdued, and he slowly turned to look at Elizabeth. She smiled back at him before their eyes rolled back into their heads and they fell unconscious on the floor.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Elizabeth felt herself drifting in and out of consciousness. Whenever she drifted closer to awareness, she could hear voices. She could never make out what they were saying, but sometimes she could hear who was speaking. Most often, it was Carson she heard, his handsome Scottish brogue a soothing melody lulling her back to sleep. Sometimes it was John she heard, his voice slightly less soothing, but equally as comforting. Sometimes she would hear the two of them speaking together, and once she heard them talking in tones that led her to believe that they were arguing.

At night, when she truly slept, she heard Rodney.

At first, she had thought the others had failed and the man was still trapped inside her head. But as she slept, she soon realized she was dreaming. And when she dreamt of Rodney, she knew she smiled.

Elizabeth lost track of how long she drifted between sleep and wakefulness. Carson's powerful sedatives kept her from waking entirely and so she spent the entire time in the infirmary in a haze. She was dimly aware of people coming and going, of Carson hovering around her bedside checking vitals and other things that Elizabeth couldn't bring herself to really care about. She often heard Teyla, speaking in her gentle voice, and sometimes she could even understand what she was saying. But she was tired—damn Carson's sedatives—and never remembered any of it.

John was there a lot. The few times that Elizabeth had been lucid enough to be considered "awake", it was often nighttime. Of those very few times, she almost always saw Sheppard sitting in a chair between her bed and Rodney's, either sleeping or playing his hand-held game boy. He never noticed she was awake and Elizabeth would never enlighten him. She would just smile and close her eyes and drift back into dreams.

Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes and found herself staring, once again, at the white infirmary ceiling. Strangely, it didn't appear so sterile and unfriendly anymore. Probably from spending too much time here. Elizabeth smiled slightly at the thought—one of her first lucid thoughts in a while.

"Hey, welcome back."

Elizabeth turned her head and found Sheppard lounging in his chair beside her bed, smiling that weird little Sheppard half-grin at her.

"Hey." Elizabeth said, her voice coming out in a dry croak. She cleared her throat and swallowed a few times before she focused on John and frowned. "How long have I been out?"

"Uh…" Sheppard hesitated and raised an eyebrow. "About a month."

Elizabeth's eyes flew wide and she sat up quickly—too quickly—and was forced to fall back against the pillows when the infirmary started to spin dizzyingly. Sheppard was on his feet and at her bedside, looking down at her with obvious concern in his eyes.

"A month?" Elizabeth croaked in alarm. Relieved that she hadn't damn near killed herself, Sheppard nodded and sat back down in his chair.

"Yeah…" he said slowly and he smiled again. "But no worries. I kept things running pretty smoothly while our two most important people were playing Rip Van Winkle. Caldwell was eager to help, but I told him I had everything under control."

The overly calm tone in Sheppard's voice led Elizabeth to believe that there was probably more to it than what he told her, but right now she didn't care. Instead she turned her eyes back to Sheppard.

"Rodney…" she whispered.

"Woke up a few days ago." Sheppard said.

"Is he alright?" Elizabeth asked, beginning to wonder and worry at why the man in question wasn't here.

Sheppard nodded, but Elizabeth noticed the brief hesitation.

"John…" she said, her voice dropping to the deeper tones of "I'm the boss now tell me the truth". Sheppard sighed.

"He's fine, Elizabeth. I swear. Carson wouldn't have let him out if he wasn't."

Well, that much was true. Carson—gentle and soft-spoken—was not against bodily strapping someone into their bed in order to make them stay where he could keep an eye on them.

Rodney McKay was no exception to the rule.

Actually… Rodney McKay was probably why the rule existed.

But then why wasn't he here? She had privately been hoping that if the man wasn't still tied to his bed then it would have been him sitting beside her bedside. The fact that he was missing, while not entirely unexpected, was still slightly unnerving. And extremely disappointing. They had been through a very interesting situation together and they had a lot to talk about.

And he wasn't even here.

"You know Rodney," Sheppard said. "He probably got caught up in his work. You know it's not you."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me _you_ can hear what I'm thinking." She said, partly in jest and partly in alarm. Sheppard grinned and crossed his arms across his chest. He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on the edge of Elizabeth's bed so that only the back legs of his chair were supporting him.

"No." he said casually. "But you two were pretty obvious, Elizabeth. I wonder what you two got to talking about in there?" he tapped his temple.

Elizabeth blinked in surprise and fought to keep the dismay off her features.

"E—excuse me?"

"Don't worry." Sheppard grinned. "I'm pretty sure it's just me and Teyla that figured it out."

Elizabeth regarded him calmly a moment before saying, "Because you two are so obvious?"

John had to flail his arms to keep from toppling over backwards. Yanking his feet off Elizabeth's bed, all four legs of the chair landed loudly on the infirmary floor and Sheppard was left looking rather flustered. Recovered from his rather enthusiastic attempt at not falling over, John clasped his hands in front of him and cleared his throat.

"Uh… what? What?"

"Nothing." Elizabeth said innocently. Sheppard cleared his throat again and got to his feet, running a nervous hand through his dark hair.

"Uh… well… never mind what I said. Look, uh, I'm gonna go get Carson… now that you're… you know… awake."

Elizabeth smiled calmly.

"Thank you."

Sheppard nodded awkwardly and turned to hurry away—but ended up getting his legs tangled up in the chair behind him. In his haste to escape he ended up tripping over the piece of frustrating furniture—making quite a racket while he was at it—and his arms flailed wildly as he fought to detach himself without falling flat on his fact. Elizabeth was sorely pressed not to laugh by the time he finally extracted himself and hurried away at something close to a run. He didn't even look back and Elizabeth was very happy he didn't. She probably would have burst out laughing right in his face and that would have hurt his feelings.

When he was out of sight Elizabeth allowed herself a short bout of laughter. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the pillows, relaxing into the soft bed. It wasn't long, though, before she heard footsteps approaching her bed.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hello, Carson."

"Good t' see ye awake, love." Carson smiled broadly as he took her wrist and immediately felt for her pulse. He looked down at his watch. "How did ye sleep?"

"Apparently very well." She responded dryly. Carson chuckled.

"Ye can blame some o' tha' on me, I'm afraid." He said. "I gave ye a wee sedative t' keep ye from completely wakin' t' early. Ye needed ye're rest."

"'Wee' sedative?" Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "I'd hate to know what a large sedative is in your book, Carson."

Carson grinned and patted Elizabeth's hand before he let it rest on top the sheets again.

"Hopefully ye need ne'er know. Now, how do ye feel about a wee spot t' eat?"

Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply, but her growling stomach beat her to it. She blushed slightly and Carson grinned.

"I'll take tha' as a yes. Wait a moment and I'll get ye somethin'."

"Thank you, Carson." Elizabeth called after him. Carson grinned back at her.

"Think nothin' of it, love."

After a hot meal and a few hours of check-ups, Carson granted Elizabeth a full bill of health and proclaimed her fit to leave the infirmary.

"But I don't want ye goin' right back t' work, ye hear?" he told her. "Sheppard can handle th' city a few more days without ye."

Elizabeth agreed. She hadn't been planning on doing any strenuous activities anyway, but this now gave her the chance to go find Rodney. She hadn't seen him all day and she was getting worried.

After getting her a change of clothes, Carson allowed Elizabeth to go back to her room unescorted. She had entertained the thought of disobeying doctor's orders and going to find Rodney immediately, but she decided she needed a shower first. Fresh clothes did not a clean person make.

After a quick shower, Elizabeth decided to head down to the labs first. Not only did she need to thank Zelenka and the others for executing Rodney's plan, but she suspected that Rodney would also be there. The walk from her rooms to the nearest science labs was not a great distance, but it was certainly more than brisk and it was enough to wake Elizabeth up completely. A walk through her fair city always managed to enliven her and she knew immediately that this had been a better idea then simply going back to bed.

As she had suspected, Zelenka was in the same lab she had last seen him. Testament to how long she had been asleep, however, was the removal of the dart. Suddenly the lab looked much larger and she wondered vaguely what they had done with the hunk of twisted wreckage. She shook her head slightly—she would think about that later.

"Dr. Weir!"

Zelenka, seated at a table across from the door and half-hidden behind his laptop, leaped to his feet when he saw her. He came around the table to stand in front of her.

"You are awake!" he cried happily, then rolled his eyes. "Oh, but of course you are awake. You are standing right in front of me. You are feeling alright?"

Elizabeth smiled at Zelenka's enthusiastic concern.

"I'm feeling just fine, Radek. I came here to thank you for helping me and Rodney. I doubt we could have done it without you, despite what me may have said after he woke up."

Zelenka's eyes widened.

"Rodney is awake, too?" Zelenka muttered something in Czech. "Carson must still have him strapped to a bed if he hasn't made it to the labs already."

Elizabeth frowned.

"Wait… he hasn't been here yet?"

Zelenka looked at her in surprise.

"No." he said. "But I thought you said he just woke up?"

"Colonel Sheppard informed me he had awoken a few days ago. And he hasn't been here?" Elizabeth found that hard to believe.

Zelenka shook his head.

"I have not seen him. I just assumed… this might not be good." He ended lamely. Elizabeth nodded her agreement. Rodney was a horrible patient, as Carson was quick to remind her after every incident that landed him back in the infirmary. He would often stay in bed only as long as he thought was necessary and then be right back at work, pushing himself to the limit until someone had to haul him back because of lack of sleep or low blood sugar or some other ailment common to the over-worked scientist.

Elizabeth tapped her headset.

"Rodney, this is Elizabeth. Are you there?"

No answer. Elizabeth was beginning to get sick of this. She thought they had a bond between them and yet he was constantly avoiding her and running away from her and refusing to talk to her—inside _and_ outside her damned head.

Sharing a worried glance at Zelenka, Weir tapped her headset again.

"Colonel Sheppard, this is Weir."

"Carson says you're not supposed to be working, Elizabeth." Sheppard's voice immediately reprimanded.

"I'm not working." Elizabeth answered automatically. "Can you meet me at the science labs?"

"Uh… sure." Sheppard said uncertainly. "What's this about?"

"I'll tell you when you get here."

"How long ago did you say Rodney woke up?" Elizabeth asked shortly after Sheppard had arrived. He shrugged.

"Uh… I'd say three or four days ago."

Zelenka's eyes widened.

"Three or four days he has not been in the labs? That is not like McKay at all."

Sheppard frowned.

"Wait—he hasn't been here yet?"

"You're surprised?" Elizabeth asked. Sheppard nodded.

"Yeah. I talked to him yesterday. He said he'd been to the labs already, though he sorta glossed over that." Sheppard grimaced. "Guess he wasn't telling the truth… I thought he was just still foggy from not really being… er… himself and then being unconscious for the better part of a month."

"So… what? He's been avoiding everyone since he woke up?" Elizabeth frowned. That did not sound like Rodney at all.

"Well, he never tried to avoid me." Sheppard said. He raised an eyebrow. "Or Katie Brown, weirdly enough. I saw him talking to her once or twice."

Zelenka jerked back in alarm as if he had just been slapped.

"He's spoken to Katie?" he asked in surprise. "She never mentioned it…"

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't know the two of you talked that often, Radek."

"Oh," Zelenka blushed. "Well, when Rodney never showed up for their first date, I realized he hadn't told her so I went to tell her. And… well…"

Sheppard grinned.

"A lot happens in a month."

Zelenka glared at him and Sheppard looked as if he were about to elaborate, but Elizabeth wasn't in the mood for their games. She cut him off by saying, "but why would Rodney go see her now? To apologize?"

Sheppard shrugged.

"He never told me."

"Well, have you seen him today?" Elizabeth asked. Sheppard shook his head.

"No. I assumed he was back in the labs. Though it looks like I'd be mistaken…"

Elizabeth sighed.

"Okay. We need to find him and figure out what is going on. Zelenka, you stay here in case he actually shows up. Sheppard, see if he's in his quarters. I'm going to go see Katie and see if she knows anything."

The men nodded and Sheppard followed her out of the labs.

"I'll call you if I find him." Sheppard said to her as he jogged past. Elizabeth nodded absently as she followed the hallways to where she knew Katie was currently living, all the while wondering why Rodney would go to the botanist and never once come to see her. She sighed unhappily.

And she thought they had gotten past the hard part.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Elizabeth was halfway to Katie Brown's lab—this time of the day she wouldn't be in her quarters—when a thought struck her. Slowing her pace, she shifted directions and started down a different corridor. All her worry and fears about why Rodney hadn't been there started to dissolve as Sheppard's words came back to her: "You know Rodney…" Yes. She did know Rodney. And something told her that she had a better idea of where he would be than Katie Brown.

Strangely, she shouldn't have known what direction to take. Since that terrifying encounter with Koyla she had avoided the place like a drowning man avoids water. Even after the time she had spent with Rodney out on the windswept balcony—subconsciously or not—it still made her skin crawl to think about willingly going to the place again. She hadn't admitted it to Rodney, but she hated the place more than she had ever let on. It reminded her too much of the man that had not only hurt Rodney, but that had tried to drag her back through the 'Gate. The look in his eyes, the stench of his breath… the feeling of his body behind hers—it still made her want to gag.

But this was neither the time nor the place for such memories and thoughts. No, this was a time for her and Rodney. Following a memory that had never happened in real life, Elizabeth followed empty corridor after empty corridor before she came to the closed doors leading to the, in Rodney's words, finicky power station. She stood outside a moment, taking a deep breath and trying to steady her heartbeat. If she was right—and she was pretty sure she was—this would be the first time she would be looking Rodney in the eye in over a month, not including their meeting in Rodney subconscious.

Elizabeth, hovering just outside the door's sensors, stepped forward. Immediately the stain glass portal slid open and Elizabeth stepped outside.

The scene that met her was completely different from what she had expected and suddenly all previous memories—except for one—faded away into twilight.

The first time she had been here, it had been dark and cold and rainy. The second time it had been dreary and blustery—and still cold. But now… now it was an entirely different place. The sun was shining brilliantly, making the glass-like grounding station glow with a brilliant inner light. A calm, azure ocean stretched out to the horizon beneath a cloudless sky. A warm breeze wafted passed her, ruffling her hair and bringing with it the scent of the sea.

In short, it was beautiful.

After a moment of distraction, her eyes were drawn to a sight that she found a thousand times more beautiful than the ocean and the sunlight.

Rodney, with his back to her, was leaning against the railing overlooking the pier below. He had removed his jacket—she saw it lying crumpled haphazardly in a corner. To her surprise, she saw his powerbook lying on top of it, completely ignored by the scientist. Also, tossed beside the powerbook, was his headset. No wonder he hadn't responded when she had tried to contact him. Well, that actually made her feel much better.

Elizabeth took another deep breath to steady herself and stepped down to the tiered balcony. She was still several feet away from Rodney, and not making a sound, when the man suddenly flinched and whirled around to face her. His blue eyes grew wide and he pressed himself against the railing.

"Elizabeth!" he cried. A frown crossed his features. "They didn't tell me you were awake!"

As soon as the words had left his mouth, his hand wandered up to where his headset was supposed to be and looked mollified when he realized it wasn't there. He sighed and dropped his hand again.

"No headset. Right." He mumbled. He looked up at Elizabeth and smiled nervously. "So… feeling better?"

Elizabeth clasped her hands in front of her and smiled slightly.

"Much." She said lightly. She walked forward until she was standing beside him. Unclasping her hands she rested her palms on the railing and leaned forward, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "It's so beautiful." She whispered.

"Yeah…" Rodney said dreamily and Elizabeth glanced over at him. He was gazing at her with a weird, half-dazed expression and paying absolutely no attention to the ocean or the surrounding sunlight. He suddenly realized that she was looking at him and he shook himself. "Uh. I mean the ocean. The ocean's beautiful. And the sun. They're beautiful. Oh! But that's not to say that you're not… uh… because you know you're… uh… You know."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. After worrying about him only to find that he had simply been devoid of a headset, she was feeling strangely giddy. She was enjoying watching him fumble for words, watching his hands wave about wildly as he tried to find the right thing to say. It was rather endearing. Of course, in her mind, he was never so attractive as when he was in full Rodney mode—when he new exactly what to do, how to do it and had complete control over his situation. Yeah… he was pretty hot then.

"And… uh… Elizabeth?" Rodney's voice ended in a high squeak when he realized that she was regarding him with the same dreamy expression that he had been presenting her with a moment ago. He swallowed—he wasn't used to such a beautiful woman looking at him like that—and stumbled to an awkward halt. "What… uh… something wrong?"

Elizabeth smiled lazily, deciding he had had enough teasing.

"No." she said slowly. "I was just thinking."

"Uh… oh?" Rodney squeaked again. He was getting really nervous now. The memory-that-wasn't-real of their last encounter here was still fresh in his mind and his lips still tingled with that kiss. And the sensation of her fingers in his hair… He swallowed thickly. "A—about what?"

"Remember the last time we were here?" Elizabeth asked and Rodney's eyes flew wide. What, now she could read _his_ thoughts? He coughed.

"Uh… yes?"

Elizabeth smiled and turned so that she was facing him. Somehow, in turning she had also managed to slide forward so that now she was standing almost toe to toe with him. He found himself looking down into her green eyes, framed by her wind-tousled curls. And that mouth…

"Do you remember what we talked about?" she asked, taking another step forward. Rodney swallowed again. All coherent thought seemed to have left his mind, leaving him thinking of only two things—that Elizabeth was standing unnaturally close to him, in _real life_, and the memory of that kiss…

"We, uh, we talked about a lot of… uh, things." He said lamely, still amazed that this was actually happening. This… _was_ actually happening, wasn't it? He _had_ actually woken up and he really _was_ standing here with Elizabeth as she moved closer, gently resting her hands on either side of his face, looking up at him with those gorgeous green eyes…

"I think I said something to you… that I promised I would repeat." She said, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Rodney didn't know where to look. Here eyes were so beautiful, but that mouth was so intoxicating… and it was difficult concentrating on either when Elizabeth's thumbs were gently stroking the side of his face. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights—and they were some very nice headlights. If there was going to be a crash, he couldn't be happier staying right where he was.

"Oh?" Rodney squeaked, trying to sound suave and failing miserable at it. Elizabeth smiled and pulled Rodney's face down to hers, gently pressing her lips against his.

Rodney thought his head was about to explode. The first kiss had been good enough, but this… this was _real_. He melted into her, feeling her lips stretch into a smile against his, pulling him closer. Much sooner than he would have liked, Elizabeth pulled away and leaned her forehead against his. She looked up at him, her green eyes deep and brilliant.

"I love you, Rodney McKay." She whispered and a smile quirked at her lips. "Corny as that may sound."

"Oh…" Rodney breathed. "Still doesn't sound that corny coming from you."

Elizabeth giggled and raised her hands, pushing them through his hair. Rodney shuddered and grinned foolishly.

"I seem to remember you liked this." She murmured as she watched his blue eyes glazed over.

"Yeah…" Rodney sighed, perfectly content to let her run her fingers through his hair now that he had nothing to confess to her. He heard Elizabeth giggle again, her voice like music to his ears.

"You're worse than Sedge." She grinned.

"Hmm… who's Sedge?" Rodney asked lazily, not really caring.

"My dog."

Rodney's eyes suddenly focused and he frowned at her—though he made no attempt to dislodge her fingers.

"Excuse me? I remind you of your _dog_?" Elizabeth, her fingers freezing, opened her mouth to respond, but Rodney interrupted her shortly. "If I'm going to remind _anyone_ of _any_ sort of domesticated animal, then I'm a _cat_." Rodney scowled. :Hmph. Dog… please."

Elizabeth, frozen with the thought that she had pushed him away, suddenly felt her tension dissolve. She laughed and wrapped her arms around Rodney's neck, leaning forward and grinning into his shoulder. He couldn't help but grin in response to her laughter as he let his arms slide around her waist. Yeah, this was defiantly better than his subconscious.

Even if she had compared him to a dog.

Once her mirth had subsided to a few giggles, Elizabeth lifted her head and grinned up at Rodney.

"I'm sorry," she said in mock seriousness. "You, Rodney McKay, are like a cat in every sense of the word."

Rodney stood a little straighter and she felt his arms tighten around his waist as he grinned.

"Thank you." He said proudly. "I appreciate that."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"So, do I get a kiss now or what?" she asked. Rodney's blue eyes lit up.

"Oh! Right." He grinned and leaned down to meet her, pressing his thin lips against hers. This time it lasted quite a bit longer than the others as she eagerly parted her lips for him. He lost himself in the taste of her and for a moment, he was actually worried that he would faint—pass out—again.

This is, until he heard an amused cough coming from the balcony doorway.

Rodney should have known it would be Sheppard that would ruin the moment.

"Never mind," he heard the man say—a grin obvious in his voice, "I found them."


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue

The days following the "duet incident"—as Sheppard so cheerfully insisted upon calling it—were filled with intermediate moments of blissful peace and hectic work. Both doctors had much work to catch up on and much to do as well. But their efforts—though not very great—were further hampered by Carson, who insisted they both needed at least a week more to completely recover from whatever physical and mental side effects the inhabitation of one body with two minds might have caused. In order to ensure his patients' cooperation, Beckett also enlisted the help of Colonel Sheppard, Teyla and even Ronan to keep an eye on the two of them.

He needn't have worried. Elizabeth and Rodney seemed far more eager to spend time with each other than with their work. After a short period spent pretending to try and catch up, and their customary battle with Carson, they both had relented rather quickly to "no' liftin' a finger fer at least a week" and promptly settled into a far more relaxing routine.

Elizabeth knew that she and Rodney knew each other better than any two people possibly could. Even before the duet incident, the two of them had been close. Now, though, she decided that perhaps it was time that they learned those things that only a select few could know. She wanted to know more about Rodney as a _person_, outside of what she was privy to in her everyday workweek. She wanted to share with him those secrets that only the most privileged could learn, and she wanted to learn the same from him. She offered the suggestion to Rodney and it had been obvious that he was uncomfortable with the idea. But as a testament to the love and trust he felt for her, as well as for their steadily blossoming relationship, he had soon accepted it as a good idea.

During the day the conversations consisted of little, trivial things—first kisses, family vacations, school field trips, favorites books and music and movies, and pets. They usually spent the most time on the latter subject, both of them smiling goofily as Elizabeth reminisced about happy, energetic Sedge and Rodney retold stories about the aloof—yet loveable—Einstein.

During the night, when most of the city was asleep, they would sit together in one of their respective rooms, holding each other as the conversations took a far more personal turn. Rodney would hold a sobbing Elizabeth as she admitted how heartbroken she had been over Simon, despite knowing that they had been growing apart. Other nights it would be Elizabeth holding Rodney as he retold tragic, heart-wrenching memories of past experiences with doomed relationships and his own, mildly dysfunctional family. Elizabeth had never realized how lonely Rodney's life had been before the Atlantis expedition and she was happier than ever to know that she was a part of that life now, helping to make it a little more bearable and a little less lonely.

It was also on nights like these that the two of them discovered an extremely interesting side effect of the duet incident. The first time they noticed was when Elizabeth had told Rodney about Simon. She had been sobbing into his arms, trying to talk through the tears, while Rodney whispered random comments that he hoped would soothe her.

"In a way I was sort of relieved," he heard Elizabeth admit. Her voice sounded strangely hollow and not so thick with tears. "Because I think I had loved you long before then."

"You did?" Rodney asked before he could stop himself. He knew it was wrong of him to feel so happy about that comment while Elizabeth showed him her broken heart, but he couldn't help it. Elizabeth sniffed and shifted in his arms so she could look up at him, her face somehow even more beautiful when it was red and puffy with tears.

"W-what?" she asked, her voice thick with tears. Rodney squeezed her close and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." He said, truly sorry that he had butted in. Elizabeth wasn't allowed much time to feel bad for herself and he didn't want to ruin one of the few times she felt comfortable enough to do it around _him_.

"No," Elizabeth frowned and sat up a little straighter in the circle of his arms. "You… you said, "you did?" I did what?"

"I… uh…" Rodney suddenly didn't know what to say and his question was beginning to sound extremely inappropriate and out of place. "I thought I heard you say… something. About you… uh… maybe… loving me before… uh." Rodney waved his hand, lamely suggesting that the "before" referred to the entire incident with Simon.

Elizabeth hiccupped, eyeing Rodney strangely.

"I never said that." She whispered and Rodney felt like an ass for hearing what he had wanted to hear and ruining Elizabeth's moment at the same time.

"But I was thinking it." She added quietly.

Rodney's eyes flew wide.

"You were… but that means…"

Elizabeth nodded slowly.

"You can still hear my thoughts."

Rodney let out his breath in a loud, short, "oh." He looked at Elizabeth with an expression torn somewhere between surprise and pure terror, wondering if it was considered invasion of privacy when he could hear her thoughts without being trapped inside her head. But instead of being insulted or concerned, Elizabeth only smiled and snuggled back into his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his chest. She felt him relax beneath her, and his arms tightened around her, holding her close and keeping her safe and warm. Elizabeth closed her eyes and she felt herself drifting closer to sleep, worn out by her night of crying. She didn't get to do that very often, so when she did it usually left her feeling worn and empty. Tonight she had been sobbing not only because of Simon, but also because of every other situation that called for tears but had received none. Rodney understood. He had been a direct part of many of those situations and almost none had received the sorrow it was due, mostly thanks to the immediate threat of the Wraith or Genii or some other equally important and dangerous issue.

A few nights later it became evident that that wasn't all that the duet incident had left behind. It was the night that Rodney had finally felt brave enough to retell several stories from his childhood and high school days—days that he was neither happy nor eager to remember. He had been unable to meet her eyes through most of the night, glaring down at his hands instead as he forced the memories passed his lips. Unlike Elizabeth, he did not cry. A few times she had heard an obvious quaver in his voice, but whether from anger or a near-break, Elizabeth didn't know. What she did know was that her ability to feel his strongest emotions had not waned, despite the time that had passed since they had shared one body.

Sitting close to Rodney, so that their knees were touching, Elizabeth had felt every emotion that Rodney felt as he ran through a troubling list of twisted relationships and pathetic family incidences. She felt his long-concealed pain and his fear and his sense of betrayal. She felt his anger and his sadness, and his embarrassment had actually saying what he was saying _out loud_ and to _her_. But, most of all, she felt the overwhelming relief at not only releasing some of his burden, but having someone to _listen_ to him without judging him or without asking for anything in return. And through it all there was an unerring feeling of love and safety and trust—emotions that Rodney almost never showed to the outside world. For Elizabeth, being privy to such emotions was the greatest gift she could have been given.

Rodney hadn't known what to say when she had admitted at the end of his long-overdue vent that she had felt his every emotion through the entire thing. At first he had tried to apologize, humiliated that she had had to experience that.

"Apologize for what?" Elizabeth had demanded, reaching over and cupping his face in her hands. "For being human? For letting someone in? You have no reason to be sorry, Rodney. You only have to know that there is someone here, sitting in front of you, who loves you more than life itself and who would give the world to feel everything you just felt. Never apologize for that, because I love it. And I treasure it."

Rodney, still unused to the sense of compassion and friendship, smiled and kissed her.

"I don't deserve you." He murmured. Elizabeth smiled.

"No." she laughed. "But then how I ever deserved you is beyond me."

"Have I told you I love you?" Rodney asked, his eyes sort of glazing over in that familiar this-is-almost-too-much-to-take-in-right-now look. Elizabeth laughed again and kissed him.

"As corny as that sounds." She grinned.

Elizabeth and Rodney decided not to share their strange, yet special, ability. Instead they began honing it in private, slowly making it a stronger and more manageable. Soon they were having entire conversations without having to say a word, with Elizabeth thinking a statement and Rodney responding with an emotional rush. It made team meetings and lunches all the more interesting with Rodney would burst out laughing when no one was talking or when Elizabeth would blush hotly and cough politely after a completely innocent comment was made.

Both of them were pretty sure John knew what was going on, and Carson. Teyla and Ronan seemed blissfully ignorant, but then they were both pretty good at playing the blissfully ignorant card around the Earth-born Atlanteans. If anyone else noticed, however, they managed to pretend they didn't and life went on as normal, with the occasional crisis to be averted and the occasional day to be saved. And through it all, Elizabeth and Rodney grew closer and closer without ever having to say a word, connected by thoughts and feelings that ran deeper than anyone could ever fathom.

"You look like you're thinking hard about something." Elizabeth said, propping her chin on her clasped hands and smiling at John across the desk. The man had come in to discuss one of the more recent and uneventful missions, but had fallen into a thoughtful silence near the end of the conversation. He stared blankly at Elizabeth's desk, his mind obviously elsewhere.

"Oh," he said absently, "I was just thinking about you and Rodney."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, obviously intrigued. The duet incident had occurred nearly six months prior. Rodney had recently moved into Elizabeth's room, though he had stubbornly left his old room furnished despite Sheppard's constant harassment over wanting—er, needing—a larger room.

Sheppard, not looking at Elizabeth's face, continued with his same distant, distracted tone.

"And then I was thinking about what would happen if Teyla and I ended up getting beamed up by a dart only to have it shot down and then have Zelenka rematerialize both of us in one body."

Elizabeth raised both eyebrows and looked at John in surprise. The man grunted and got to his feet.

"Ah, knowing my luck I'd get stuck with Ronan." He said and, without looking the least bit phased, turned and walked calmly out of Elizabeth's office. She blinked in surprise, and then shook her head.

Knowing _her_ luck, he'd get stuck with Rodney. But Teyla and Sheppard… that _was_ an intriguing idea.

Elizabeth tapped her headset.

"Rodney," she called. He answered almost immediately.

"Elizabeth?" he asked. She smiled.

"What ever happened to the duet dart?" she asked, referring to its popular nickname—one given to it by Sheppard, no less. For all his talk about people not naming things, he seemed to be having a great time doing just that.

"Uh… we moved it to one of our off-world sites. Why?"

Elizabeth's smile transformed into a grin as she watched Sheppard talking with his Athosian teammate outside the control room.

"Get Radek and meet me in my office. There's something I think we should try…"


End file.
